Jesus didn't die for this
What the actual hell were they thinking when making this movie. Illumination, known infamously for bringing the Minions into the world. In 2011, the company produced a live-action/animation hybrid movie just in time for Easter called Hop. Hop is the story of the son of the Easter Bunny, E.B. who does not want to become a Easter Bunny. E.B. much rather become a professional drummer. The young rabbit teams up with the human Fred who has always been a fan of the Easter Bunny, and trains him to become the first human Easter Bunny. That isn't even the worst part. The worst part is probably the oppressed Mexican chicks that work for the bunnies at their Easter factory, but I'll get more into that in a bit.
The movie opens on portraits of past Easter Bunnies with Fred narrating before saying that the movie we are about to watch is the story of how he became the first human Easter Bunny. There is then a panning shot Easter Island, where underneath the strange heads lives the Easter Bunny, and his entire operation. We are introduced to a young E.B.who we can already tell really likes playing drums, even from a young age. His unnamed father who is only referred to as The Easter Bunny gives young E.B. a tour of the Easter Factory. Here we immediately see the symbolism in this movies as the bunnies exert their white privilege over the Hispanic chicks, and um. I was going somewhere, but then I got distracted because one of the chicks was doing a funny dance haha. In the next scene we see a young Fred spotting the Easter Bunny in his backyard hiding eggs all over the place. After that we cut to twenty years later when Fred is now fully grown into the family disappointment. Like literally everyone in his family has this disgust towards him. Everyone except his supportive sister who sets him up with a job interview, and a place to stay for a couple of weeks. At the same time E.B. decides to run away from home not wanting to become the next Easter Bunny. When Fred is driving to the house he'll be staying at, he accidentally hits E.B. with his car. Though he isn't hurt at all it seems. E.B. however decides to fake an injury, so he can have Fred take him home to take care of him. I should probably add, in the scene before E.B. tries to get into the Playboy Manor saying that he fits the criteria of being "sexy", and a "bunny". You know, for kids!
The next day, Fred finds that E.B. is just fine, and that he's made a huge mess out of the house that he was supposed to make sure nothing happened to. Fred decides to then take E.B., and attempt to ditch him in the wild. It does not work out though as E.B. explains to Fred that he is actually the Easter Bunny, and proves it by shitting jellybeans. I know it's always been a silly joke with kids that jellybeans are rabbit poop, but Illumination didn't have to take that literally! Fred reluctantly decides to allow E.B. to stay with him, but first he needs to go to the job interview that his sister set up for him at a local Video Game Development Company. Though he is half an hour late, Fred is given a tour of the building while the manager interviews him. E.B. seemed fine waiting in the car as well, though he can't stay in the car as it turns out his father had sent the Pink Berets after him. Of course the trio are a homage to Charlie's Angels, another joke in this movie that children will not get. E.B. loses the Pink Berets by going into the building where Fred is doing his interview. Soon enough the rabbit finds his way into the recording studio where a blind blues band is recording their music. E.B. joins in seeing that they are missing a drummer. After the performance, the band tells him that they know he's not their drummer, but he plays great. One of the members can even tell that he's a rabbit as he leaves. Fred ends up not getting the job, but E.B. finds a new opportunity, the band told him that David Hasslehoff is hosting a talent competition, and he should try out. Fred agrees to take E.B. to the tryouts.
Fred, and E.B. go to the Auditions, and The Hoff approves. Though upon asking David why he isn't phased by the talking rabbit, David replies, "My best friend is a talking car". I'll admit, that part made me laugh a bit, but once again it's a joke that children will not get at all. Later that night Fred attends his younger sister's Easter play. E.B. though interrupts forcing Fred to fake a ventriloquist act, completely upstaging his sister. It is after this that Fred realizes he wants to become the Easter Bunny. Though reluctant E.B. agrees to help him, and queue the training montage. The leader of the chicks, Carlos also has his own training montage as he wants to take over as the Easter Chick. At the end of the montage, the Pink Berets finally figure out where E.B. is. Not wanting to lose his chance at fame playing on David Hasselhoff's show, he quickly fakes his death by dressing up a turkey, and placing in a boiling pot of water. Good thing rabbits are super dumb because this works. Fred is accused of murder, and is taken to Easter Island. Now thinking that E.B. is dead, Carlos puts his plans to work, and steals E.B.'s dad's magic staff that gives him his Easter Bunny powers. E.B. arrives, and is captured, but manages to escape with ease. Same with Fred, and E.B.'s dad. Carlos now morphs into an abomination hybrid of a chick, and bunny. Carlos is about to get away with taking over Easter when E.B. starts playing some nearby crates as drums causing the funny dancing chicken from before to start dancing. The dancing leads to the Easter sleigh crashing, and Carlos is defeated (Yes, I know what I just said). E.B.'s dad then assigns both Fred, and E.B. as co-Easter Bunnies, and all is well, except for Carlos whose species' exploitation will only continue until their untimely possibly factory related demise. Fred's family is also now proud of him for getting a job, even if that job is delivering Easter baskets all around the globe. I know what you're thinking, "what the actual fuck", but yes, that's the end.
Hop is probably one of the most cursed movies I have ever seen. It should've never been. I now want to go back in time, and stop Jesus from dying so then Easter doesn't exist, and with it this damn movie. Peter Rabbit Cottontail is hopping his way into a 2 out of 5 Paws up rating. Happy Easter, don't watch this movie please.
The movie opens on portraits of past Easter Bunnies with Fred narrating before saying that the movie we are about to watch is the story of how he became the first human Easter Bunny. There is then a panning shot Easter Island, where underneath the strange heads lives the Easter Bunny, and his entire operation. We are introduced to a young E.B.who we can already tell really likes playing drums, even from a young age. His unnamed father who is only referred to as The Easter Bunny gives young E.B. a tour of the Easter Factory. Here we immediately see the symbolism in this movies as the bunnies exert their white privilege over the Hispanic chicks, and um. I was going somewhere, but then I got distracted because one of the chicks was doing a funny dance haha. In the next scene we see a young Fred spotting the Easter Bunny in his backyard hiding eggs all over the place. After that we cut to twenty years later when Fred is now fully grown into the family disappointment. Like literally everyone in his family has this disgust towards him. Everyone except his supportive sister who sets him up with a job interview, and a place to stay for a couple of weeks. At the same time E.B. decides to run away from home not wanting to become the next Easter Bunny. When Fred is driving to the house he'll be staying at, he accidentally hits E.B. with his car. Though he isn't hurt at all it seems. E.B. however decides to fake an injury, so he can have Fred take him home to take care of him. I should probably add, in the scene before E.B. tries to get into the Playboy Manor saying that he fits the criteria of being "sexy", and a "bunny". You know, for kids!
The next day, Fred finds that E.B. is just fine, and that he's made a huge mess out of the house that he was supposed to make sure nothing happened to. Fred decides to then take E.B., and attempt to ditch him in the wild. It does not work out though as E.B. explains to Fred that he is actually the Easter Bunny, and proves it by shitting jellybeans. I know it's always been a silly joke with kids that jellybeans are rabbit poop, but Illumination didn't have to take that literally! Fred reluctantly decides to allow E.B. to stay with him, but first he needs to go to the job interview that his sister set up for him at a local Video Game Development Company. Though he is half an hour late, Fred is given a tour of the building while the manager interviews him. E.B. seemed fine waiting in the car as well, though he can't stay in the car as it turns out his father had sent the Pink Berets after him. Of course the trio are a homage to Charlie's Angels, another joke in this movie that children will not get. E.B. loses the Pink Berets by going into the building where Fred is doing his interview. Soon enough the rabbit finds his way into the recording studio where a blind blues band is recording their music. E.B. joins in seeing that they are missing a drummer. After the performance, the band tells him that they know he's not their drummer, but he plays great. One of the members can even tell that he's a rabbit as he leaves. Fred ends up not getting the job, but E.B. finds a new opportunity, the band told him that David Hasslehoff is hosting a talent competition, and he should try out. Fred agrees to take E.B. to the tryouts.
Fred, and E.B. go to the Auditions, and The Hoff approves. Though upon asking David why he isn't phased by the talking rabbit, David replies, "My best friend is a talking car". I'll admit, that part made me laugh a bit, but once again it's a joke that children will not get at all. Later that night Fred attends his younger sister's Easter play. E.B. though interrupts forcing Fred to fake a ventriloquist act, completely upstaging his sister. It is after this that Fred realizes he wants to become the Easter Bunny. Though reluctant E.B. agrees to help him, and queue the training montage. The leader of the chicks, Carlos also has his own training montage as he wants to take over as the Easter Chick. At the end of the montage, the Pink Berets finally figure out where E.B. is. Not wanting to lose his chance at fame playing on David Hasselhoff's show, he quickly fakes his death by dressing up a turkey, and placing in a boiling pot of water. Good thing rabbits are super dumb because this works. Fred is accused of murder, and is taken to Easter Island. Now thinking that E.B. is dead, Carlos puts his plans to work, and steals E.B.'s dad's magic staff that gives him his Easter Bunny powers. E.B. arrives, and is captured, but manages to escape with ease. Same with Fred, and E.B.'s dad. Carlos now morphs into an abomination hybrid of a chick, and bunny. Carlos is about to get away with taking over Easter when E.B. starts playing some nearby crates as drums causing the funny dancing chicken from before to start dancing. The dancing leads to the Easter sleigh crashing, and Carlos is defeated (Yes, I know what I just said). E.B.'s dad then assigns both Fred, and E.B. as co-Easter Bunnies, and all is well, except for Carlos whose species' exploitation will only continue until their untimely possibly factory related demise. Fred's family is also now proud of him for getting a job, even if that job is delivering Easter baskets all around the globe. I know what you're thinking, "what the actual fuck", but yes, that's the end.
Hop is probably one of the most cursed movies I have ever seen. It should've never been. I now want to go back in time, and stop Jesus from dying so then Easter doesn't exist, and with it this damn movie. Peter Rabbit Cottontail is hopping his way into a 2 out of 5 Paws up rating. Happy Easter, don't watch this movie please.
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