Movie Review: The Lorax

I speak for the trees, and the trees say, "What the actual hell is this movie?"

Thanks to these Illumination Entertainment adaptations of these classic stories, Dr. Seuss is now rolling in his grave so much we can power the entire country! Ah yes, The Lorax, a classic story showcasing how we need to take care of our forests, and not allow them to be chopped down in the name of capitalism. What better way to truly show off that message then to make a movie that's sponsored by a car. A car that comes from a polluting factory. Not to mention all the toys that were made as well from plastic heavy Happy Meal trinkets, to plushies, most likely from a toxic factory somewhere in a 3rd-world country. Ah yes, just as Theodor Seuss himself  intended. Moving away from that though, the movie on it's own tries to tell a heart warming story of a young boy determined to get a real tree in a world, or at least area with no trees at all. The Lorax however just presents itself as a soulless cash grab of an iconic story for the sake of seeming Eco-friendly.

The Lorax opens with the titular character telling us about Thneedville, though that really isn't necessary as we immediately jump into a exposition musical number. Yes, this movie is a musical. During this song we learn everything there is to know about the city, and how life seems to be perfect despite the fact that they need to buy bottled air frequently. This song shows one thing I really dislike about this movie, it explains everything to the viewer. Even if it is "just a kid's movie", by giving everything to the audience, you make them feel stupid, and sure kids can be pretty dumb, but I think they're smarter then Hollywood thinks they are. After the musical number we are introduced to our main character Ted who has a crush on this girl, but I forgot her name because she only appears a couple times in the movie despite seeming like a major character. I'll just call her Tree Girl, cause this hoe is obsessed with wanting to see a real tree. She even states that if a boy brought her a real tree, she would marry him on the spot. Thus with his dick raised, Ted sets out to find a real tree. Yup, you heard that right folks. This kid saves the environment by being horny. Good job Ted. At home Ted's "wacky XD" grandma tells him about The Once-ler, a shut-in hermit who lives outside of Thneedville, and somehow hasn't died yet from the smog, and poisoned waters. Ted finds a way outside of town, and comes across the home of The Once-ler. Once-ler reluctantly begins to tell the tale of how he destroyed all trees. In the beginning though he was an aspiring entrepreneur hoping to find the perfect material for his latest invention The Thneed. He soon comes across the grand, and beautiful Truffula Tree Forest inhabited by a variety of forest animals such as Minion Bears, Minion Fish, and Birds. Of course Illumination were going to shove their Minion formula into this, though this only created annoying side characters that don't add anything. Upon arriving at the forest, Once-ler chops down one of the trees, summoning the titular Lorax.

As Once-ler begins to make his first Thneed, Lorax tries to explain that he can't just cut down the trees with no consequences. Once-ler ignores the furry critter though, and continues his work. That night The Lorax along with the other woodland animals take him in his bed, and float Once-ler down a river hoping that he will just disappear. However, one of the bears is on the bed meaning that Lorax has to stop the bed from going over the waterfall. One pointless scene later, Once-ler promises not to cut down another tree ever, yeah that will last long. Once-ler, Lorax, and the animals all become good friends now as Once-ler attempts to sell his Thneed to the people living in a nearby city. Every time though he gets only tomatoes thrown at him. That is until he decides to give up, and tosses the Thneed. The Thneed lands on a girl's head as a hat, and everyone wants one now. Once-ler at first plans to handle this demand in a Eco-friendly manner by just harvesting the tufts from the Truffula Trees much rather then cutting down the whole tree. That changes though once Once-ler's selfish family arrives, and complaining about the efficiency convince Once-ler to let them chop down trees. Once-ler attempts to defend his actions in the song, "How Bad Can I Be?", which is one of the only memorable parts from the movie to be honest. During the song, Once-ler proceeds to build huge factories that pollute the sky, and water. With the song over, Lorax tries to stop him only for it to be too late, the last tree falls. Along with all the animals, the Lorax leaves, leaving Once-ler in a desolate wasteland. With the story now complete, Once-ler gives a special item to Ted, a single Truffula Tree seed. He is then directed to plant it in the center of town where everyone will see it. It won't be too easy however.

Waiting for him at home is O'Hare who sells air to everyone in Thneedville. He wants to keep Ted from planting the tree due to the fact that the trees produce free air. A drawn out chase scene then happens. At first when Ted proposes that they let the tree grow, the people are against him. Though after using a bulldozer to bring down the wall of Thneedville to show off what the world has become, the people change their minds in the song, "Let it grow". The movie skips to the nearby future where Once-ler is tending to a garden of Truffula Tree saplings. They never explain where the other seeds come from though. As Once-ler finally redeemed himself, The Lorax, along with the woodland animals return. The movie then ends, and what did we learn? We learned that the Truffula Trees would've never came back if it wasn't for Ted being horny. So kids, the lesson here is to always follow your dick.

First things first, if you want to watch an actually good movie about environmentalism, then watch Wall-E instead of this shameless cash grab. The Lorax might entertain children for a short period, but if you want your kids to get anything meaningful out of this movie, you're out of luck. This movie is incredibly forgettable, with me forgetting about major plot points halfway through the movie! The only redeeming quality this movie might have was having Danny Devito as the titular character. However, even he can't save this dumpster fire. The Lorax gets a 1 out of 5 Paws up.