They could save humainity, but they couldn't save this movie
Shanghai Fortress released earlier this year, based on the 2009 novel, "Once Upon a Time in Shanghai" (Which has to be one of the most stupid names for a book ever). The movie cost an astounding $57 million to create, but brought back less then $20 million, making it a critical failure domestically. The movie presents itself as a sci-fi action adventure movie about the last stronghold of humanity fighting back against the alien invaders. What we got instead though is a half-baked romance story that simply uses the invasion as a back-drop.
The movie starts with our main characters training in a simulation. We mostly focus on Jiang Yang (played by Lu Han of EXO fame), who shows potential to become a commander. The audience is also introduced to his comrades; Pan Hantian, Zeng Yu, and Lu Yiyi. We are also introduced to Jiang Yang's love interest, Lin Lan (Played by the famous Taiwanese-Hong Kong actress, Shu Qi). Now be prepared to forget about all these characters as they are one-dimensional, and thus very forgettable. The next day, the city comes under attack from the alien forces, luckily the shield protecting the city is able to keep the damage very minimal. Thanks Jiang Yang, and his friends make it in time, and help drive off the aliens. In the next scene atop a roof in the older part of Shanghai, the friends talk about their goals and dreams for the future, we also establish here that Lu Yiyi is in love with Pan Hantian. Later that night a alien somehow managed to be inside the fortress, and attacks the command center. Our heroes rush onto the scene, and barely make it in time. Pan sacrifices himself, and the command center to save the shield. Believe it or not we're only half way through the film, and yes, it does get worse.
Lin Lan, remember her? Because a bunch of people just died she decides to go, and get some of her favorite noodles. Once there she sees that Jiang Yang is also there. Jiang Yang finally gathers the courage to give her the fake flower that he was supposed to give to her at the beginning of the movie. She leaves, and receives a text from Jiang Yang asking if she wants to hang out tomorrow, she replies yes. We then skip to the next night where they are walking around this field full of generators, and talking about random stuff, so romantic right? Finally we get back to the action. The leader or whatever decides that they need to blow up the ship using their special Shanghai Cannon. Our heroes board their jets to protect the cannon. Although upon failing to hit the ship, Lin Lan realizes that she has to sacrifice herself, and pulls a lever or whatever that gives energy to the cannon, but makes Shanghai destroyed. The main character's friends die too. I don't even know how, Jiang Yang uses himself as a target to get the cannon to hit the ship, but Jiang Yang somehow lives? There is probably so much I missed, but I can't bother to re watch this dumpster fire. Another thing, like 5 years later they perfectly rebuild Shanghai, I hate this movie so much.
That's it, that is all I can say about this movie. It's boring, forgettable, cliche. Sorry, no witty joke this time. I take back what I said about Deadly Detention, THIS is the worst movie i've ever seen. If it were possible i'd give it a -5 out of 5, but since I can't do negative scores, this gets a 1 out of 5 paws up.
Lin Lan, remember her? Because a bunch of people just died she decides to go, and get some of her favorite noodles. Once there she sees that Jiang Yang is also there. Jiang Yang finally gathers the courage to give her the fake flower that he was supposed to give to her at the beginning of the movie. She leaves, and receives a text from Jiang Yang asking if she wants to hang out tomorrow, she replies yes. We then skip to the next night where they are walking around this field full of generators, and talking about random stuff, so romantic right? Finally we get back to the action. The leader or whatever decides that they need to blow up the ship using their special Shanghai Cannon. Our heroes board their jets to protect the cannon. Although upon failing to hit the ship, Lin Lan realizes that she has to sacrifice herself, and pulls a lever or whatever that gives energy to the cannon, but makes Shanghai destroyed. The main character's friends die too. I don't even know how, Jiang Yang uses himself as a target to get the cannon to hit the ship, but Jiang Yang somehow lives? There is probably so much I missed, but I can't bother to re watch this dumpster fire. Another thing, like 5 years later they perfectly rebuild Shanghai, I hate this movie so much.
That's it, that is all I can say about this movie. It's boring, forgettable, cliche. Sorry, no witty joke this time. I take back what I said about Deadly Detention, THIS is the worst movie i've ever seen. If it were possible i'd give it a -5 out of 5, but since I can't do negative scores, this gets a 1 out of 5 paws up.
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