Movie Review: Die Hard

A Classic Christmas Movie

It's the mid-Eighties, the action movie genre is starting to get stale. Every year, we get more, and more of buff oiled men fighting other buff oiled men (No homo). Although towards the end of 1988, not only the action genre, but the Christmas movie genre would be changed forever. Die Hard is a phenomenal Christmas-Action movie about John McClane (Played by Bruce Willis), a average man, who also happens to be a cop from New York. He travels to California in hopes of reconnecting to his wife, Holly (Played by Bonnie Bedelia) during Christmas time. It won't be that easy though as twelve terrorists take over the building, and it is up to John to save the day.

Christmas Eve, John arrives at the Los Angeles Airport, and is surprised when he finds that his wife's boss had got a limo ride for him. The limo driver introduces himself as Argyle (Played by De'voreaux White), and he has to be one of the most funny characters in the film. Rather surprising how well this movie can blend drama, action, and comedy like this. Much rather then sit in the back with the nice luxuries, John sits in the passenger seat, and has a nice conversation with Argyle. Upon arrival at the Nakatomi Plaza building, Argyle agrees to wait down in the garage just in case John manages to win back Holly, then he can drive the two home.  John goes up to where the business party is, and finds Holly. At first the two seem to get along fine, but then their discussion turns into an argument. Meanwhile back down in the lobby, the start of something big is happening.

While John is in the bathroom, the party is suddenly taken over by a group of terrorists armed to the teeth with artillery. John manages to slip away however, and hides out in the stairwell trying to figure out what to do. The leader of the group, Hans Gruber (Played by Alan Rickman), interrogates Joseph Takagi, the executive of the company for the code to the vault within the building. Takagi doesn't comply however, and ends up being shot, and killed by Hans. John is unfortunately witness to the gruesome scene. After that, he is almost caught by one of the terrorists, but after a fight on the stairwell the terrorist's neck is snapped as they tumbled down the stairs. John steals the dead man's gun, communicator, and pack of cigarettes. John decides to use the communicator to contact the police, but before that he sends the body up the elevator with a warning painted onto his shirt. Our hero then makes it up to the roof where he is able to contact the police. Though the police don't take him seriously, and only send in one man to do a quick drive-by investigation. 

Hans sends two of his men to attack John, only for them both to be killed. Meanwhile back down at the lobby, one of Hans men is disguised as a security guard, and manages to convince the officer that nothing is wrong. Though as the officer goes to leave, John drops the corpse of one of the men onto his car, this alerts the officer enough to call in backup. This is actually the beginning of a friendship between John, and the officer Al Powell (Played by Reginald VelJohnson). On the communication device, Hans confronts John, attempting to intimidate him. though that doesn't work as John decides to present himself like a hero from a old western movie. This is also the moment where we get one of the most famous lines in movie history, "Yippee-ki yay motherfucker". Back down on the ground, the police, and SWAT finally show up. Though ironically they only make things worse. A news reporter also shows up trying to cash in on the dangerous scenario. 

Back with the hostages, Ellis, a cocky business man, and co-worker of Holly decides to try, and negotiate with Hans. Ellis reveals John's name to Hans, and Ellis tries to convince John to give them the detonators, and they'll all go free. That doesn't happen however, and Ellis is shot, and killed. To make things worse since the police are also on the same communication channel, the police chief accuses John of letting him die even though John did all he could to save Ellis. John decides to head up towards the roof to check the explosives, and actually comes face-to-face with Hans. Though Hans attempts to trick John into thinking that he is also one of the hostages. John is able to easily see through the trick though, thanks to his experience as a police officer in New York. Although in a twist, Hans was anticipating this, and brought backup. Luckily John is able to take them out easily, but gets injured during his escape. Since he has no shoes on, he was forced to walk on glass to reach safety, leaving him severely bleeding, yikes.

While John is tending to his wounds he talks with Powell about family. John tries to tell Powell that if he doesn't make it, he wants him to tell his wife that he is sorry, but Powell replies that he can say it himself as long as he doesn't give up. The FBI arrive now, and using their authority they shut down the power to the entire block. Hans also demands that they provide helicopters to load the hostages onto. The truth though is that, the bad guys are planning on blowing up the roof when the helicopters arrive in order to fake their deaths to get away with their crime. Though of course it would kill the hostages in the process. Meanwhile back on the ground, the sleazy news reporter tracks down John's family home, and interviews his kids. When the kids show up on the news, Hans finds out that Holly is John's wife from the picture on her desk. The terrorists now force the hostages up onto the roof, but Holly is taken by Hans to the vault to be used as bait in order to kill John. It is during this part that we learn, they aren't exactly terrorists, but much rather petty thieves who are after the $640 million dollars stashed away in the vault. 

Knowing that the people are in danger, John heads up to the roof to save them. Along the way John is almost stopped by one of Hans strongest men, who funnily enough in real life is a ballet dancer. After a long fight sequence John is able to defeat buff dancer. He makes it up to the roof where all the hostages are huddled together, one of Holly's friends tells him that Holly was taken by Hans. Despite being in danger though, the people are not listening to John to get off the roof, so he forces them by shooting his gun into the air to scare them back down. The helicopter crew however misunderstand the situation, and think John to be one of the terrorists, and begin shooting at him. In order to escape, we get one of the coolest scenes in this movie. John wraps a fire hose around himself, and takes a leap of faith off the top of the building just as it blows up, taking out the helicopter along the way. After successfully making back inside, John goes to confront Hans. 

John makes it to where Hans, and Holly are. Hans manages to convince John to give up his machine gun in order to spare Holly, but turns out John had a hidden pistol with him, and uses it to kill one of his men, and wound Hans. Hans crashes through a window, but doesn't fall yet as he is holding on by Holly's watch. Slowly he readies his gun for one last shot, but John is quick, and manages to unhook Holly's watch causing Hans to fall to his death. The couple walk out of the building celebrating their victory. The occasion is cut short though when it turns out that the buff ballerina is still alive, but Powell puts a stop to it by shooting him. John, and Powell embrace each other (No homo). Now as John, and Holly make their way through the crowd, the reporter tries to interview them only to get punched in the face by Holly. Argyle also manages to get out of the garage, and just as promised he drives them home. The credits roll as our couple kiss, and Christmas music plays in the background. Truly the greatest holiday film yet.

Die Hard holds up pretty well. It isn't a perfect movie that's for sure, but it is easy to understand the cultural significance of this movie. I feel like Die Hard helped pioneer the new norms of action films. Average Joe heroes, drama, and a good splash of comedy. This Christmas classic gets a 5 out of 5 paws up.

Apology

Sorry for not posting anything on Friday. Due to my own poor time management skills, and accidentally burning myself out by reviewing so many movies this month, I wasn't able to bring a review on time. Originally I was planning on trying to release a review nearly every day for the month of December because of how many holiday movies there were. Though it would seem that I had overestimated myself. Because of this, we will be returning to our normal schedule of every Friday 10:30 AM reviews. I am sorry if I let anyone down.

Movie Review: Anna and the Apocalypse

Three differing genres come together to create a hidden holiday gem

Anna and the Apocalypse is a British Christmas Zombie Musical. You heard that right; Christmas. Zombie. Musical! Despite these clashing genres, Anna and the Apocalypse offers a unique tale of a high school girl, and her friends having to survive when a zombie outbreak happens in their small rural town. The movie was actually based on a BAFTA-nominated short film. Anna and the Apocalypse takes the concept from the short film, and expands on it, not only in length, but also with the themes by centering it around Christmas. It also helps that all of the songs are great to listen to, and if there was a live version of this, I would totally go. Especially if they had a blood splash-zone like The Evil Dead Musical (Yes, it exists, and yes, it is awesome).

The movie starts off with out main character Anna (Played by Ella Hunt), and her friend John (Played by Malcolm Cumming) being driven to school by Anna's father Tony (Played by Mark Benton). Anna's father tries to convince her to go see the school's Christmas show that night, but Anna replies that she is busy with work. John then accidentally mentions Anna's plane ticket to Australia, which angers her father. Anna wants to see the world, but her father wants her to focus on getting accepting into a university first. The rest of the ride is awkwardly silent  until they make it to the school. It probably doesn't help though that her father is the Janitor there however. During this moment we are introduced to Steph (Played by  Sarah Swire), a journalist for the school's blog who is doing a report on the rampant homelessness in the city. Steph also became one of my favorite characters in this movie, the way her character was done was just so great. We then get our first musical number, 'Break Away', sung by Anna, John, and Steph. After the song we are introduced to one of Anna's other friends Lisa (played by Marli Siu) who is performing in the Christmas show that night. Though she is shortly kicked out by the tyrannical Vice Principal, Arthur Savage (Played by Paul Kaye).

We fast forward to their lunch period where we meet more characters, and get some information on who they are, and such. We meet Lisa's boyfriend Chris (Played by Christopher Leveaux), and Lisa makes sure that he'll be going to see her tonight at the show. Though as Chris works with Steph as her camera guy he is pulled away for an assignment that will be happening at the same time. Chris reassures Lisa though that he'll make it back for her song, and that his grandmas will be there for her as well. The audience is also introduced to Anna's jerk ex, Nick (Played by Ben Wiggins), who is the leader of a group of jocks that bully John. The next song plays now, 'Hollywood Ending', which is really a bop. We then skip to later on that night at the bowling alley that Anna, and John both work at. They both talk about life, and decide to do their best from now on. Though as they have fun tossing the shoes into the shoe bin, John accidentally knocks out their supervisor. Meanwhile at the Christmas show, Lisa delivers a very promiscuous song about wishing for Santa to unload his sack for her, yikes.

The next morning, we immediately start with the duet 'Turning My Life Around'. Anna, and John make their way to each other as behind them a full on zombie outbreak is happening, but neither notice as they are singing along to their music. This part reminded me a lot of Shaun of the Dead, with Shaun walking around completely oblivious to what's happening around him. This has to be one of my favorite songs in the film, it's so bright, and cheery, and becomes only better with the visuals of the apocalypse unfolding behind them. It is once the song concludes, Anna, and John finally see their first zombie. Luckily Anna is able to decapitate it with a see-saw. The two also see that they do not have any phone signals, so they go to the bowling alley to see if the internet there works. Upon arrival they see that Steph, and Chris are there as well as since the two had knocked out their supervisor, she wasn't able to lock the back door. The group has a nice reunion, but it is disrupted when a small horde of zombies break in. The group makes quick work of the zombies, making the bowling alley safe. We also find out that everyone who was at the Christmas show is safe for now inside the school, though Savage isn't being much help as he enforces a struct regime. The next song then plays, 'Human Voice', which is a great, and emotional song. Afterwards we fast forward to the next morning.

That morning they find out that the military had been overrun, because of course. Now at this point, it would be easy to think that they are going to copy Shaun of the Dead, and get through the horde by pretending to be zombies. Fortunately, the solution isn't as silly, but still quite ridiculous; they actually manage to make their way through a horde using a inflatable pool to hide themselves. Though they are stopped when an old granny zombie sits on Steph's head, though technically not as the material of the pool keeps them from actually touching. It still isn't any less uncomfortable for Steph though. A crawling zombie then spots them, and puts the others into a frenzy. The group is surrounded, and in danger, but are saved by an unlikely hero, Nick. Nick, and his gang of jocks are able to take down the zombies with ease, and we even get a awesome solo with it, 'Soldier at War'. Sure he's a jerk, but I gotta admit his singing is fantastic, and I may have developed a small crush. *sigh* Why do I always fall for the bad-boys? Ack, cringe. The group of friends reluctantly follow Nick, and his gang as they will have a better chance of making it to the school safely with them. 

Now on their way to the school, Anna and John have a small bonding moment with each other. While John is being anxious about the future, Anna keeps her hope that everything will turn out fine. The two are interrupted when Nick tells the group that they will be using a shortcut through the dark Christmas tree store. Despite the high risk, the group reluctantly goes inside wanting to get to their destination before it gets too dark. Of course the group is attacked by zombies, and the jocks get killed. Meanwhile back at the school, realizing that they are sitting ducks inside the school, many of the people make the plan to evacuate the building, and find a new safe place to hide. Though Savage being the control freak he is attempts to keep them there, the scene cuts off with some ambiguity. Now back at the shop, the group is deciding to move on, Anna asks Nick if he is alright, but he replies harshly that, if they wanted to live they should've kept up. I suppose Nick isn't exactly a jerk, though he sounds like it. In this scenario, he is being realistic, and doing his best to be responsible, and to put up a show of himself being strong. The group now head outside of the store... only for John to get bit. Seeing as how he is bit, John sacrifices himself to save Anna. Now fueled with rage, the once reluctant girl is now able to kill zombies with ease.

The survivors soon reach the school. Savage leads the students into a room expecting the others, only to see a room full of the undead. As Savage sings his solo, 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now', the group barely escape with their lives. Once successfully escaping, the group splits up; Steph, and Chris go find Steph's car keys that had been confiscated earlier in the movie. Meanwhile Anna and Nick go off to find any of the other survivors, including her father. Steph, and Nick are able to find Lisa, and Chris' Grandmother. Unfortunately they are too late as Chris' Grandmother had passed away due to her heart problems. On the bright side, this movie doesn't follow The Walking Dead rules as it seems those who died of natural causes don't come back, only the bitten. The trio now find themselves inside Savage's office where Steph is able to stealth her way to the confiscation bin. Though as zombies surround her, both Lisa, and Chris sacrifice themselves to save Steph. Nick also reveals that he had to kill his dad when he became infected. Immediately after the are surrounded by a horde of zombies. Nick allows Anna to escape, so she can find her father, and save him. Anna finds Savage, and her father inside the theater room where Savage has her father tied up. We then get the awesome song, 'Give Them a Show' where Anna, still full of hope for the future fights against Savage who believes they all deserve to die. Anna is able to make it up to the stage, and free her father. They at first think of just leaving then, but then Savage attacks Tony. During the fight, Anna manages to knock Savage into the the crowd of zombies as he finally got what was coming to him. Nick comes in, revealing that he somehow made it. Although, not all is well.

Sadly it is shown that Anna's father had been bitten sometime during the fight. He insists that they go on without him, not even giving him a mercy kill. Anna hesitantly leaves with Nick, only for the two to be absolutely cornered by a large horde of zombies. Anna, and Nick sing one last song, 'I Will Believe', a song about keeping hope. After the song, she, and Nick ready themselves for their last stand. It could've ended there as British horror is quite notorious for their bleak endings. However, there is a glimmer of light at the end, as Steph arrives just in time in her car to save them. The trio now drive off as a reprisal of 'Hollywood Ending' plays in the background. Sure it's still a bit of a downer of a ending, but hey, it could've been worse. Everyone could've died instead... just saying. 

Anna and the Apocalypse is a very surprising movie. Given the genres they combined, it shouldn't have worked, and yet, it did. All of the songs are very fun to listen to. The characters are likable as well. Though one could say the plot is a bit simple, it's simple enough that it doesn't get caught up in it's own writing, but it's different enough as well to keep the audience engaged. This unexpected holiday musical treat gets a 5 out of 5 paws up from me. 

Movie Review: Noelle

Anna Kendrick Sleighs It In This New Christmas Film

Noelle is a modern take on old Christmas movie tropes that somehow manages to be very endearing, but not annoying. The movie stars Anna Kendrick, and Bill Hader as Santa's children with Bill's character, Nick having to become the new Santa. When Nick disappears before his debut however, it is up to Anna Kendrick's Noelle to not only save the day, but also learn something about herself along the way. 

The movie begins with adult Noelle's voice narrating about why she loves Christmas, and going into a flashback scene in which we learn that she, and her brother are indeed Santa's kids. We then flash forwards years later, and find out that the last Santa had just passed away, and now Nick must become the new Santa. Although he had been training for it his whole life, Nick so far is the worst Santa yet. Noelle's mother asks her to help train her brother as she is well versed in how Santa works. She also lays down some foreshadowing information, such as; Santa can tell who is naughty or nice just by looking at them, and tell what they want, Santa can also understand, and speak every language in the world. Remember this folks. For Nick however, all of this is too much for him, and his sister doesn't quite understand at all since no one had ever expected anything from her, all she has to do is make her Christmas cards. Upon hearing about how stressed he is though, Noelle suggests that he go off somewhere for the weekend, which he gladly takes up on. A week later however, he has not returned, though the sleigh, and reindeer have. With Nick missing, the blame is pinned on Noelle who had suggested he take a break. They are also forced to make their cousin Gabe who works in the Tech Department the new Santa, which he reluctantly accepts. Being worried for her brother however, Noelle sets out to find Nick.

With some investigating, Noelle is able to figure out that Nick must've ran off to Phoenix, Arizona, which is the polar opposite of their home, The North Pole. If you think my jokes/puns are bad, you should just watch at least fifteen minutes of this movie. In the middle of the night Noelle is able to get the reindeer together, when her nanny Elf Polly is accidentally swept up into the adventure. They make their way to Phoenix, and land in the middle of a shopping mall's plaza. The mall's manager, Helen Rojas confronts them of course not believing that they are from the North Pole, and such. However, seeing as how much attention the Reindeer are bringing in she sees this as an opportunity to maybe finally get the money for her dream vacation to Hawaii. It is also seen that she has a crush on the Petco employee that works within the complex. Polly stays with the reindeer while Noelle heads out into the city to try, and find Nick. Of course she comes across many people dressed as Santa for their job, but she sees it as "Naughty". Eventually she comes across an ad for a Private Investigator named Jake (Played by Kingsley Ben-Adir), and heads to his office to meet with him. Turns out Jake is a recently divorced man with a young son, and he surprisingly doesn't become the love interest, wow congrats Disney for avoiding one whole trope!

Jake reluctantly decides to help Noelle on her search after she helped him out with his phone being dead. The first day doesn't yield many results, but on the next day not only does Noelle get to meet Jake's young son, Alex, they also get a lead on where Nick may be. Before they get to that point though, they go to a homeless shelter where Noelle meets a young deaf girl, and her mom, where she tells Noelle that her wish is for her mother to get a job. After that scene we find out Nick had opened his very own Yoga studio in Phoenix, and Nick tells Noelle that he has no intention on returning to the North Pole. He also calls her out on her selfishness as she was mainly worried about her own reputation at the North Pole. Back at the shopping mall, Noelle sees that her baby reindeer friend, Snowcone has followed her there with a letter from her mother. The letter reveals that Gabe has developed an algorithm that decided there is only 2,837 nice children in the world based on superficial data. He is also planning on using Amazon Prime to deliver, thus ruining the entire Christmas spirit. Noelle now knows that she has to get Nick back. With Snowcone's help she is able to find Nick at a yoga getaway camp, she heads over there, and gives Nick the letter. Upon returning, thinking she failed, Nick arrives at the shopping mall.

Noelle tries to spark some Santa magic in Nick by having him ask kids what they want for Christmas. Though during this part we can see clearly Noelle understanding not only an Indian child, but also is able to tell who is naughty or nice with just a look, hmm, I wonder what this could mean? Noelle then accidentally attacks a police officer, and is taken to a mental ward because of her "Christmas Delusions". Although with help from Jake, Nick, and Polly she is able to escape, and return to the North Pole with everyone, excluding Jake. Upon arrival, Nick announces that he isn't a good Santa, but Noelle is. At first everyone is shocked, and unwilling to accept a female Santa, though since there are not any rules stating women can't be Santa, Noelle prepares for her first Christmas Eve. At first she is messing up very easily, though after revisiting the homeless shelter with the deaf girl, it clicks with Noelle, and the rest of the night goes off without a hitch. She even gives Jake a short ride in the sleigh, and takes him to Alex, as that was Alex's Christmas wish. We then get a small epilogue where everything is fine, and dandy now; Noelle successfully establishes herself as the new Santa, she makes Elf Polly the first female Elder Elf (Which she somewhat regrets), Nick is allowed to open a Yoga studio in the North Pole, and also I guess Gabe was forgiven despite almost ruining Christmas. Well that was Noelle.

Noelle is... fine. It isn't that great, it's fairly predictable, very cheesy, at least the feminist message isn't too forced. Noelle is good, but not that good. Then again most Christmas movies are quite meh, probably because they have to rely on the tropes set out before them. At least Noelle took those tropes, and tried something new with them. For the effort put in, I give the movie a 3 out of 5 paws up.

Mini Review: Frozen 2

Let It Go, Into The Unknown

This movie doesn't deserve to be as good as it was. I still can't believe that the first movie came out six years ago, is this what it feels like to be old? There are so many things I have to say about this movie, it is near perfection. I am well aware however that a lot of people do not agree with me on that statement, and that's okay. Anyway enough with the teasing, I really want to talk about this movie!

The animation was gorgeous, and the music I thought was much more better in this movie then the first one. They say that the song, "Into the Unknown" is the new "Let It Go", but personally "Show Yourself" Is my absolute favorite song from this film. Sure the plot wasn't the best, but it really did connect with me. I know i'll probably sound like a rambling idiot, but I feel like this movie was created with people riddled with depression, and anxiety in mind. Especially the song, "The Right Next Thing", is literally a song about coping with depression, and not letting it engulf you. I am actually someone who constantly struggles with anxiety, and depression. Gosh, i'm actually starting to cry typing this up. I'm so happy that this seemingly childish film was able to address such heavy topics. First Inside Out, now Frozen 2, I hope more movies like this come out in the future, because these could be very important with how children cope with their own complex emotions. 

To be honest, I would actually go see this in theaters again, it is such an experience. I understand though that for some the movie can be slow paced, and the story could use some polishing. Other then those flaws though, I can see this movie becoming a classic, possibly ranking even higher then the original. I give this movie, 5 out of 5 paws up.

PARENTAL WARNING
Though it is rated PG, I wouldn't recommend it for younger children as it delves into heavier topics as I mentioned before. It is also very slow paced in the first act, so it may bore a child easily. Keep this in mind if you're thinking of bringing Little Timmy to see the fun princess movie.

Movie Review: Klaus

A modern holiday classic

Klaus is the directorial debut of Sergio Pablos (He was the creator of Despicable Me), and is the first movie from his new animation studio. Perhaps Klaus is his apology to the animation industry for bringing Minions into existence. Klaus was released last month, but I wanted to save it for the holidays as that would be more appropriate. The movie follows Jesper Johansson (Voiced by Jason Schwartzman. Who I just found out played the main villain, Gideon, from Scott Pilgrim vs the World; good movie, great movie), the lazy, and spoiled son of the post master. Jesper is then taken to the small island town of Smeerenburg where a non-stop generational feud is what keeps the town alive, and it is up to the reluctant postman to establish a functioning post-office there. Though Jesper will find help in the most unlikely of places. Just before I get into the review I already want to say that this movie has to be one of the best animated movies to come out this decade! Anyways, on with the review.

The movie begins with Jesper narrating the legends of Santa, but then goes into further explanation, to explain why the myth exists in the first place, and it all started with a letter. We then get a lovely montage as this bright blue letter travels through this grand area that is revealed to be the Royal Postal Academy. The letter is given to a drill sergeant who then hands it off to Jesper, who is seen slaking off when he should be doing his training. The letter is from Jesper's father who has asked for his appearance in his office. Jesper willingly goes thinking that maybe it's because his father is letting him go back home now. That is not the case however. Jesper's father, the post master wants his son to learn how to be responsible, and to do so assigns him to an isolated island village by the name of Smeerenburg where no postman has ever successfully established an office there. Jesper is to establish a working post office in a year with about six-thousand letters sent. Jesper must complete the task or else he will be disconnected from the family entirely. Reluctantly, and with plenty of hilarious sarcasm, he goes off. Jesper's attitude during the first quarter of the film reminds me a lot of Kuzco from Disney's The Emperor's New Groove, which I love very much.

Jesper soon meets up with a sarcastic boat captain who takes him to Smeerenburg. The captain also tricks Jesper into ringing a bell in the middle of the town saying that it'll be the welcome party. Jesper rings it, only for him to find out it's the battle bell, whenever rung the two clans begin to fight. Jesper barely makes it away into what seems to be a run-down school house. Though it isn't much of a school since it had to become a fish shop. This is where Jesper meets Alva (Voiced by Rashida Jones, who is quite multi-talented, seriously check out her filmography), the only teacher on the island, but since no one sends their children to school she was forced to become a fish shop owner in order to save up money to eventually leave. The captain then finds Jesper, and takes him to the abandoned post office where he will be staying at. It is comically run down with even chickens living in the mail slots. Jesper reluctantly gets to work just wanting to leave as soon as possible, lo and behold, however Jesper finds that no one is interested in sending letters to anyone. Just when he loses all hope he comes across a drawing dropped by a child living in a large towering building. Jesper sees this as an opportunity to deliver the letter, but before he can convince the child to do so the child's father returns, and scares off Jesper. With all faith just about lost he finds a lone house on his map that he hasn't visited yet, The Woodcutter's Cabin.

Jesper makes it to the lone cabin, but finds the woodcutter no where. Though he enters the workshop only for him to be blocked in with icicles. Within the workshop, Jesper finds an assortment of handcrafted toys, one of which starts playing music which spooks the cowardly postman. During his panicking, the old woodcutter (Voiced by J.K. Simmons) finds him in there, Jesper only seeing this hulking man with a axe quickly takes his leave. Though on the way he drops the child's drawing. Back down at the village Jesper is trying to decide what to do, when suddenly the woodcutter approaches him. The woodcutter has Jesper show him where the letter came from, once there it is now night time, and the woodcutter prompts Jesper to deliver a package to the young child inside the house. Through a series of hijinks he manages to get in, and out of the house. The woodcutter then takes Jesper, and they watch through the window as the young boy unwraps his new toy frog. The next day Jesper finds children lined up outside the post office having heard that by sending a letter to Klaus, the woodcutter, they would be able to get a new toy. Jesper sees this as his opportunity to meet his quota, and goes to meet with Klaus. Jesper explains that since Klaus has so many toys he could basically donate them to the children. Though hesitant at first Klaus agrees, only on the condition that it's at night. 

Everything seems to be going fine, though when two of the children are found playing with other, we get a small explanation for the feud. They fight simply because their ancestors did, and the adults of the two clans believe that the two clans can never get along because of this. Huh, kinda sounds like boomers wanting to keep the status quo. Despite this however, Klaus, and Jesper's deliveries go smoothly, and with each delivery the children start creating stories about Klaus, which really was mostly Jesper. What I like a lot about this movie is that, it is very grounded in reality, there is no magic; except for maybe at the very end, but it's quite subtle. Although during one delivery he finds himself at the home of the village bully, and decides instead of giving him a toy, instead he'll give him coal. The next day the bully confronts Jesper asking why he didn't get a toy. Jesper knowing well of all the stories the children are putting together convinces them that only good kids get toys, while naughty ones get coal. This leads to the village children doing acts of good will, and from those selfless acts the adults soon follow through as well. Alva also finally gets to become a teacher as the children are encouraged to go to school so they can learn how to write, even using up all of her savings to rebuild the school house.

Klaus eventually runs out of toys however, though Jesper suggests that he simply make more. Klaus insists that he can't, though doesn't explain why. Jesper decides to upgrade his workshop then hoping that with it tidied up maybe Klaus will make more toys. Though upon finding a old covered up memorial of Klaus and his late wife Lydia, Klaus is angered, and Jesper leaves. Before leaving, Klaus explains how they always wanted children, so that was why he made the toys, for his children that were never born, and his wife passing away shortly after he had built the cabin there. Upon arriving back at the post office he finds a little Saami girl (They are a real life indigenous people who occupy mostly Northern Finland, and the Kola Peninsula off of the western area of Russia). Not being able to understand her, Jesper takes her to Alva hoping that she can interpret. With Alva translating, Jesper is able to help the little girl, who we learn her name is Márgu, write a letter to Klaus. Though with how Klaus was at the moment, but not wanting to let her down, he attempts to try, and build the toy himself. Jesper ends up falling asleep, and while doing so Klaus appears, and wakes Jesper up wanting to help him, and be partners again. The two work together, and create a sled for Márgu, and deliver it to her. Upon seeing her reaction in the morning, Jesper is filled with a new spirit, now not caring about quotas, but instead wanting to bring people happiness. 

The two decide that the next time they deliver presents, it will be on Christmas night (Chances are they're speaking about the religious version of the holiday, though they don't clarify if so), though they do not know where to even start. Although because of their act of kindness, the Saami people come to help Jesper, and Klaus put together the whole Christmas event, and so does Alva as well. During the montage is a heartwarming moment in which Jesper adds small figurines of everyone to the memorial, as if saying that they are Klaus' family. Back down at the village however, the clan leaders meet together to discuss the issue with all the villagers becoming non-violent, and breaking tradition. To fix this they decide to have a temporary truce, and go on to forge eighteen-thousand letters, and send them off. Right on Christmas night Jesper is surprised to find that his father has arrived to meet him because he had overfilled his quota, and is ready to bring him back home. Klaus, and the others overhear this, and realize that Jesper had ulterior motives all along. Jesper reluctantly goes with his father onto the ship, though before it can leave he has a heartfelt conversation with his father. Jesper's father happily accepts this, and encourages him to go back, and even says that he is proud of him. Jesper quickly returns to the workshop seeing how the clan leaders had wrangled up a torch wielding angry mob, bent on destroying the toys.

Jesper makes it to the workshop in time, and we go into a chase scene which ends in tragedy. Jesper saves the sleigh, but is unable to save the gifts. Although even though the clan leaders think that now things will go back to normal, it is far from the truth, as the children of the leaders fall in love. Jesper is still sad about the gifts however. Klaus reassures him however; turns out that bag full of "toys" were actually decoys as they were well aware that the clan leaders would come, and try to stop them. Though with Jesper's act of selflessness, he earns everyone's trust once more, and Christmas goes off without a problem. We then learn that overtime they were not only able to expand their service to other areas, but also the town finally had peace. Jesper, and Alva get married, and he and Klaus stay good friends. Though as he sadly says, one year, he simply disappeared without a trace. Though now every Christmas eve Jesper knows that Klaus returns in spirit, spreading joy across the world. I would be lying if I said this part didn't make me tear up. The movie then concludes, and it's officially cemented as one of my new favorite Christmas movies.

Klaus is a perfect movie to end the decade, because despite all this advancement in the animation industry, this is what we all really want. I still can't believe that this is a 2D animated movie, it is so beautiful, and unique to look at. Folks, keep SPA studios (Sergio Pablos Animation Studio) on your radar, because if this was just their debut movie we can only hope it gets better from here. I also felt that the movie was almost like a better version of the classic stop-motion animated film, "Santa Clause is Comin' to Town". I know a bit silly to compare it, but so far this has to be one of my favorite, "Santa Origin" movies ever. I'll most definitely watch this one on a yearly basis. Anyway this modern Christmas Classic gets a 5 out of 5 paws up.

Movie Review: Barbie in The Nutcracker

A personnel childhood classic

The Nutcracker is a timeless tale of a young girl going on an adventure with a nutcracker to stop the evil mouse king, it helps that it is accompanied by a wonderful score by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky had also scored other iconic ballets such as Swan Lake, and Sleeping Beauty. With The Nutcracker being so old, of course it's in the public domain, meaning that anyone is allowed to not only use the music, but create their own interpretation of the story. Today I'll be looking back on my favorite adaptation of The Nutcracker; Barbie in The Nutcracker. The movie was released back in 2001, and was at the first CGI Barbie movie, and it shows. Despite remembering this movie fondly, i'll do my best to not judge the movie with rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia.

The movie starts with Barbie, and her younger sister, Kelly practicing their ballet routine for the upcoming performance of The Nutcracker that the two will be in. Kelly tries to get it right, but feels discouraged as ballet is quite difficult. Barbie comforts her, and says that she should be brave, and willing to try like Clara from the ballet. She then proceeds to start telling the story which brings us into the actual movie. We are quickly introduced to Clara, her stern grandfather, and her pesky younger brother, Tommy. Clara is quickly shown to be a thoughtful young woman, as we start with her daydreaming. Her grandfather scolds her as she gets back to decorating the Christmas tree, putting up a ornament of a ballerina onto the tree saying that her mother had gotten her that the first time she was taken to a ballet. Clara's adventurous aunt then comes around telling the young girl of all the places she had been to this year. Clara's grandfather tries to stop her aunt from filling Clara's head with such ideas as he is a old sexist boomer who believes Clara should stay where she is. After the grandfather leaves, Clara's aunt secretly tells her that she'll try to convince her grandfather to let Clara go with her on her next adventure. In the meantime though Clara, and Tommy are given gifts from the aunt. For Tommy it is two toy soldiers, and for Clara it is our titular Nutcracker. Her aunt explains that even though he isn't the best looking, on the inside is the heart of a prince. Tommy being the little brat he is though attempts to steal The Nutcracker from Clara causing it to break.

After fixing up the nutcracker by using a ribbon as a sling, Clara ends up falling asleep. Later on that night, the clock strikes midnight causing the room to come alive with magic. Though not all of it is good magic as an army of mice march out of the mouse hole. Luckily some of the magic reaches Nutcracker, and he comes alive, immediately springing into action. Clara is woken up, and looks around wondering if perhaps this is simply a dream. The Nutcracker tells her though that it is not, as the Mouse King (Voiced by Tim Curry, who is most famously known for his role as the Sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Perfect casting for a children's movie!) emerges from the hole. Nutcracker and the Mouse King get into a sword fight. Clara tries to help only for the Mouse King to then shrink her down into the size of a doll. She retreats up a garland, watching the fight from a distance. Seeing The Nutcracker in danger she kicks off her shoe, causing it to somehow knock out the king. The mice retreat, taking their king with them. Once they are safe, Nutcracker, and Clara regroup as Nutcracker explains that the only way to get her back to her original size, she must go with him to find the mysterious Sugarplum Princess, who will also be the key in stopping the Mouse King. Clara is reluctant at first, wondering how she would even get home. The wooden owl that sits on top of the clock then comes to life to give Clara a locket that will take her home once she opens it. The owl also tells the two where they can find the Sugarplum Princess. With a idea of where to go, the duo head off into the mouse hole.

Clara, and Nutcracker are swept into a magical portal that lands them inside an icy cavern. At first they think they are trapped, but soon a snow fairy comes by to try, and play with them. The fairy ends up hurting her wing, which Clara fixes up. To show their gratitude the snow fairies not only dance for them, but also open up an exit to the cave. I'd be lying if I said this part wasn't nice to watch; for the early 2000s the choreography is stunning, and the music of course makes it all the more better. The two leave the cave, and Clara takes in the beauty of the Nutcracker's home world, Parthenia, before going forward on their quest. Though what they weren't aware of was the Mouse King's right hand bat, Pimm, who was eavesdropping on their conversation, and heads back to the palace to warn the king. The two soon make it to a deserted, and destroyed gingerbread kingdom, the only thing left is a horse tied to a carriage. Suddenly they are attacked by two young children with snowballs. Clara is able to get them to stop attacking though as she gives the little girl her doll, which Clara found on the ground. The two children then explain that they had gone berry picking, and upon arriving back the village was destroyed. They also express their dislike for Prince Eric who had abandoned them, and he's the reason why the Mouse King was able to take the throne. Since there is nothing else for them in the village, the children decide to join Clara, and Nutcracker on their search for the Sugarplum Princess. They take the horse as well, whose name is Marzipan. 

Shortly after leaving the village the group is ambushed by the Mouse King's army, and Marzipan runs away. They run into a forest where suddenly a ladder drops from a tree. The group climbs aboard, and avoid the army. Though up in the trees isn't any better. Clara, and Nutcracker are met with distrust from the villagers who had manged to escape, especially from Major Mint, and Captain Candy. Though Nutcracker reassures them that they are not with the Mouse King, and instead they were sent by Prince Eric to find the Sugarplum Princess. Major Mint is very skeptical, but Captain Candy believes Nutcracker as he was friends with the prince. Captain Candy then asks what became of the prince, Nutcracker replies that he was killed by the prince. After some hesitation, Major Mint agrees to help them on their quest, on the condition that he be the leader of course. Later that night Clara confronts Nutcracker seeing through his lie. She had already figured it out that he is Prince Eric. Eric explains that he feels he isn't worthy however as it indeed was his fault as to why the kingdom is in the shape it is. Clara reassures him though that he is worthy, though he doesn't exactly believe it himself. Meanwhile at the castle the Mouse King decides how he wants to punish the guards who had let Nutcracker, and Clara escape. With Pimm's help he decides to turn them into bookends. Afterwards he looks through a book trying to find information on the Sugarplum Princess, but only finding the following; "She is Kind, Smart, and Brave", keep this in mind for later folks. He also creates a rock giant with the intention of using it to completely destroy the Nutcracker.

The next day the group sets out on their journey (minus the gingerbread village children of course). First they have to cross a path of floating rocks, Major Mint gets across easily, but Captain Candy falls off, and would've fallen into the ravine below if not for Nutcracker. Though Captain Candy was saved, the supplies he was carrying fell below into the ravine. They soon make it to an abandoned port, and while Major Mint, and Captain Candy fix up one of the ships, Clara and Eric head off to find more supplies. Clara, and Eric come across a dried up grove, which Eric claims used to be full of life along with a well. Soon enough they find that the well had been covered up. Using his sword he uncovers the well, and with it releases the trapped Spring Fairies. One of the fairies tells him that the Mouse King had trapped them in the well after destroying the grove. Though with them free, they quickly get to work reviving the area, along with providing supplies for their journey with fresh apples. To be honest this always was one of my most favorite scenes from the movie. I just love how everything springs to life, as well as the dancing, and music in it. During this part, Clara, and Eric share a tender moment only for it to be quickly spoiled as over the hill comes the rock giant being guided by Pimm the bat. The duo quickly run away back to the port, the rock giant following after them.

Upon arriving back at the port, of course the rock giant had manged to follow them there as well, and destroys their ship. Nutcracker is willing to risk his life for them to escape, though that doesn't need to happen as the Snow Fairies return, freezing the ocean, thus creating safe passage across the sea. Marzipan also returns just in time for everyone to jump into her carriage. At first they think they are safe as the ice should break under the weight of the rock giant. Alas the Snow Fairies did their job a little too well, as the ice stays intact. Nutcracker then jumps out, and uses his sword to crack the ice causing the giant to fall through, and sink to the ocean floor. Pretty brutal man. Captain Candy also states that Nutcracker should be the leader of their group as Major Mint is pretty useless. Soon enough they reach the island, and see the Sugarplum Princesses' castle just up ahead. Clara stays behind for a short bit however, contemplating on whether or not she would want to go home. As it turns out however, it was all a trap, all the men get captured, and taken to the Mouse King's palace, and leaving Clara stranded on the island. Meanwhile back in the village the village people decide that it is time to rise up against the Mouse King. Though Mouse King hears about the supposed uprising, and has all the villagers captured, and taken to his palace for a show of power by burning the Nutcracker in a large bonfire.

Clara is just about ready to give up when a familiar group of Spring Fairies come to her rescue. They give her a ride all the way to the Mouse King's palace, where she then goes off on her own to save the guys. No wonder I loved this movie as a kid, it had some really nice role reversal action in it! Clara is able to outsmart the mouse guards guarding the dungeon before going in. Though when she gets in there, she sees that it is empty. Actually turns out the guys are being kept behind an invisible wall. Being the smart, and resourceful girl she is Clara manages to break the wall, and free them. We then head into the climax of the movie where the Mouse King, and the Nutcracker go into battle with each other. The Nutcracker is beaten though, and Clara attempts to save him which causes the Mouse King to charge up a spell that would shrink her even smaller. The Nutcracker however is able to use the reflection in his sword to bounce the spell back at the Mouse King, causing him to shrink down to the size of an actual mouse. He runs away, but the Nutcracker is still weak, and still believing that he is nothing more then wood. Clara tells him he isn't like that at all, then kisses him. Her kiss causes Eric to finally return to his original human form. In surprise he realizes that the Sugarplum Princess had always been with them, it was Clara all along. Clara doubts it, but the audience can easily figure out why, after all, she was kind, smart, and brave; the qualities of the Sugarplum Princess. Clara then transforms into a gorgeous outfit, fit for a princess, as everything returns to their original form. 

In celebration, the children, Captain Candy, and Major Mint do a fun little dance. After that Clara, and Eric then dance, which has to be one of my other most favorite part in the film. The animation is surprisingly good, music paired with the choreography as usual are stunning to watch. However as they finish their dance, Eric asks if she would want to stay understanding if she would instead want to go home. Clara of course says yes, as here she has adventures, freedom, and a cute prince. The fun is spoiled however as the Mouse King returns flying atop of Pimm, and grabs Clara's locket, opening it up which forces her to return home. As she disappears Eric tells her that he loves her. Clara wakes back up on her couch to find that it is now Christmas morning. She tries to explain to her grandfather of what happened, but he simply sees it as a active imagination. Clara's aunt then returns, but with a special surprise. It is Eric as a full sized human! Clara is overly happy, and the two dance as the story concludes. What I really want to know though was that, was Clara's aunt in on the whole thing? Like was she aware of Parthenia, and Eric's curse, and knew only Clara could lift it? I don't know seems awfully suspicious that she knew who Eric was. Nevertheless the story ends, and we return to Barbie, and Kelly... oh yeah, they were in this movie. Kelly decides to be like Clara, and not give up, and within a minute she perfects the entire routine. Then the movie actually ends. You could literally remove the Barbie, and Kelly segments, and the movie would be the exact same, except maybe a bit better?

I went into this movie expecting it to not be as good as I remember, and I was surprisingly wrong. Sure the animation is quite rough, but hey it was the early 2000s, and they didn't have as much of a large budget like other nice CGI films at the time. Despite the flawed animation, the movie holds up quite well. Though I could see that maybe a younger child of this generation may find it a bit boring as it is somewhat slow. I don't care who the target demographic is, if you're craving some holiday nostalgia, and are in the mood for something a bit girly, then this would be a good one to watch. This nut gets a 4 out of 5 paws up.

Movie Review: The Star Wars Holiday Special

Let's bury this special in a galaxy, far, far away...

With Rise of Skywalker releasing later this month, and with Christmas right after it, it's only right that I review something both Star Wars, and holiday themed. Oh, I have made a grave mistake. A year after the release of the critically acclaimed space-opera action adventure film, Star Wars (Later given the subtitle, A New Hope) in 1977, and with the sequel coming out soon, Lucas saw the opportunity for a special film. While making the first movie, Lucas toyed around with the idea of a movie centered around Wookies (The dog-bear-like alien race that Chewbacca is of), this TV special would bring that idea to life as well as develop hype for the upcoming The Empire Strikes Back. As the legend goes however, the special was only shown on television once, then never again because of just how terrible it was. Now 40 years later, I have uncovered the monstrosity, and for the sake of my readers, I... I subjected myself to it's horror. I present, The Star Wars Holiday Special.

The movie is about Han escorting Chewie to his home planet Kashyyyk (Good luck pronouncing that) while for the annual holiday Life Day. Yes, that is literally what the Star War's equivalent of Christmas is. Although the duo are being chased by Imperial forces. They don't matter too much in this special however, as most of the time will be spent with Chewbacca's family who are waiting for his return. The audience is introduced to his wife, Malla (I could've sworn it was Paula, but that's what the cast list says), his father, Itchy, and his young son, Lumpy. We see them in their surprisingly contemporary home complete with electricity, and a functioning kitchen. Now you would think in a movie centered around Wookies who can only communicate in growls and howls that maybe they would provide subtitles for the people at home... NOPE! Hope you like Wookie sounds because that's what you're going to get for the next hour and a half! Lumpy is shown to be a little jerk, annoying his grandpa who seems to be trying to carve a wooden ship. This goes on for a bit, until we reach our first segment of the special. Lumpy goes over to the holographic table, and starts to watch what seems to be some acrobats doing tricks. This would be cool, and all if it didn't drag on for so long! Wait... what do you mean that part was only 3 minutes long!?

After whatever that was, Malla Skype calls Luke to ask if Chewie had left yet. Luke reassures her that Chewie will make it, especially since he has Han with him. After hanging up, Malla then calls the local trading post as the Wookie family is good friends with the man who runs it. Though from what they saw on the video call, The Empire is searching around the planet for Rebels, mainly Chewie and Han. We then get an actual scene stolen straight from A New Hope with Darth Vader walking down a hallway with a commander; except it's dubbed over with new audio. In fact all the scenes with the Millennium Falcon, or space in general are all reused shots from A New Hope. With that out of the way, we get to our next segment. I actually somewhat enjoyed this one because of how wacky, and over-the-top it was. Malla decides to start preparing their Life Day dinner by following a recipe video led by a very Julia Child-esque character. Not even ten minutes later we get not only our next segment, but also our first musical number; that's right OUR FIRST. The trading post guy stops by with presents for the whole Wookie family, we first get to see Itchy's gift after the trading post guy sets it up for Itchy. Alright, i'm not going to be subtle... it's porn. The trading post guy set up porn for the grandpa Wookie to watch on his VR headset.

The sexy VR lady sings to Itchy for nearly five minutes before we return to the main plot (If you can even call it that). Malla calls Leia to ask what could be taking the two so long to get there, at least that's what I think. Leia, just like Luke though reassures her that they will be okay. Just then a group of Imperial soldiers break into the Wookies home to try and find Chewie. The trading post guy manages to distract them for a bit with a holographic music video of some band from the time. After that Lumpy decides that now is the perfect time to watch his cartoon. The cartoon being literally about Luke, Leia, and the rest of the gang. How awkward would it be watching a cartoon about your own father and his friends having to save the day. The cartoon was decent actually, it was nice that they actually had the actual actors voice their characters instead of getting other voice actors that could do a decent impression. The cartoon itself served more as a hype tool for the upcoming The Empire Strikes back by introducing Boba Fett, the Mandalorian Bounty Hunter (Not to be confused with the titular character from Disney+'s The Mandalorian series). 

Now with the show over, Lumpy is sent to his room after the Imperial guards mess it up. He manages though to find a translation device kit (I had to look up that bit of info because I had no idea what was going on, I thought it was a communication device of some sort though). Lumpy then watches a tutorial video of how to set it up, hosted by a malfunctioning droid. Meanwhile we cut over to Tatooine for some reason to the iconic cantina for a segment that's ten minutes, but feels almost as long as this whole special. I don't even want to bother talking about what happened during that segment, it was so boring, and felt like it would go on forever. On the bright side however, with that segment over we are finally in the home stretch, just nearly twenty more minutes of this crap until we can be free! Lumpy finally finishes setting up the device, and uses it to trick the guards into leaving. Though a Stormtrooper stayed behind to keep an eye out. Luckily Chewie, and Han come to the rescue. After defeating the Stormtrooper, Han leaves Chewie for a moment and allows him to spend time with his family. Something strange then happens.

The Wookie family huddle close, and raise some candle looking things, then suddenly they're in robes, and on a starry path, what? At the end of the path all our friends are here, Han, Luke, Leia, the Droids, and an assortment of other random Wookies. Leia then starts singing a traditional Life Day song, at least her voice isn't bad. With the ending of the song comes finally, the ending of the movie. Never before had I been more happy to see end credits. 

The Star Wars Holiday Special is a movie that will be remembered in infamy, for numerous reasons. If I started listing what was wrong with the movie though we'd be here all day! You can try to watch it, and enjoy it in a ironic way, but no, it is too painful. All I know is, i'll never complain about the Prequels again, heck the Prequels look like Citizen Kane compared to this! Remember folks, we only have a limited amount of time in this life, do not waste it. Overall, The Star Wars Holiday Special gets a 5 out of 5 paws up... wait... well in meme points anyway. The real score is 1 out of 5 paws up.