Movie Review: Clash of the Titans (1981)

At least it's better then the Percy Jackson movies

June 1981, one of the most popular movies of the decade was released, Clash of the Titans. The story is loosely based on the Greek myth of Perseus, one of Zeus' many children. In the movie we watch as Perseus conquers many notable monsters of Greek myth, such as; Medusa, The Kraken, and... some random ugly guy who is angry cause he can't get laid with the princess. In his journey Perseus is also joined by, Pegasus, Greek Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the best character, a robot owl. Enough talk, let's get into this review.

Clash of the Titans opens on the king of Argos literally yeeting his daughter, and just born grandson into the ocean because he was jealous that Zeus banged her or something. Of course this upsets the mighty Olympic God, and he orders Poseidon to make his ocean take the yeeted humans and get them to a safe island far away from Argos. Zeus then commands the Kraken be released onto the kingdom of Argos. Here I was expecting a giant squid, but instead the Kraken looks more like a aquatic King Kong reject. The woman, and her son which she named Perseus live out their lives among a peaceful nudist colony. I'm saying that because these people are literally not wearing any clothes. The movie then skips forward, I don't know, 20 years? At least in the future the island people finally decided to put on some clothes. We cut back to Olympus, home of the Greek Gods who just stand around an almost empty room, and kinda do nothing. At least until ancient Karen, or Thetis (I will be referring to her as Karen throughout this review though), the other ruler of the sea complains to Zeus that he shouldn't punish her son Calibos for literally driving the Pegasus species to extinction. Zeus decides instead of killing him, Calibos will instead become a deformed monster. This upsets Goddess Karen so much though as he was supposed to marry the beautiful Princess Andromeda of Joppa. As revenge Thetis kinda takes Perseus, and teleport him to Joppa? I really don't know what her idea here was, like all she did was give him a free ride across the sea. Shortly after being teleported, Perseus meets Greek Obi-Wan Kenobi who runs the abandoned amphitheater. Perseus is also given three gifts from the Gods, a helmet of invisibility, a unbreakable golden sword, and... a regular ass shield. With his godly gear equipped, and new sidekick in tow, Perseus begins his adventure.

Arriving in town, Perseus learns that Princess Andromeda is under a curse that makes it so then no one can marry her unless they can solve a randomly generated riddle. If the challenger fails, then they are burned at the stake, yeesh, and here I thought I was bad at dating. Perseus, using the helmet of invisibility sneaks into Andromeda's room, and watches her sleep. He then watches as her spirit is taken by a giant vulture to Calibos' swamp where he tells her the new riddle of the day. Perseus wanting to save her asks Obi-Wan for help. Obi-Wan reveals that there is a single Pegasus left, and that Perseus should tame it so then he can save the Princess from Calibos' curse. Luckily Perseus is the main character, so taming Pegasus is super easy. With Pegasus caught, he is able to follow the giant vulture to Calibos' lair. Perseus though is spotted by Calibos who attempts to kill him. Once again, because Perseus is the main character, despite having zero sword training is able to cut off Calibos' hand. The next day, Perseus confronts the Queen of Joppa, and asks for Andromeda's hand in marriage. Though he has to solve the riddle first. The solution turns out to be the ring on Calibos severed hand. Everyone is happy as the Princess can finally be married off, especially to someone like Perseus. Calibos still alive however, begs his mother, Karen to get revenge for him. She can't hurt Perseus though as he is Zeus' son, but decides to go for the next best thing. She demands that in a month, Princess Andromeda is to be sacrificed to the dreaded Kraken, or else the monster will destroy Joppa like it destroyed Argos. Perseus now sets off on a quest to find a way to kill the Kraken. Zeus is confidant that Perseus will win the day, but just to make sure he asks Athena to send her loyal owl Bubo to assist the hero.Athena not wanting to part from her best friend though has Hephaestus create a robot in the likeness of Bubo, and sends the machine to do the Owl's job of guiding Perseus. This is the origin story for the best character in the whole movie, Bubo, the Robot Owl.

Perseus' quest takes him, and a few soldiers of Joppa up a mountain where they meet a trio of witches. Thanks to Bubo's help, he steals the witches' magic eyeball thing, and threatens to break it if they don't tell him how to defeat the Kraken. Perseus is then told that he could try to use Medusa against the Kraken as her stare turns anything into stone. Though they warn that no one has ever come back alive from Medusa's lair. Perseus, and crew now head off to go find Medusa's lair, Perseus is also given a special cloak that is immune to Medusa's acidic blood. Some travelling later, they finally arrive, but are attacked by a large two-headed wolf. After killing the wolf, Perseus, and his men enter Medusa's lair. Using the shield as a mirror to look at her without turning into stone, Perseus is able to successfully decapitate the gorgon. On their way back to Joppa, Calibos returns, summoning giant scorpions to kill Perseus, and the remaining soldiers. Calibos is finally killed by Perseus, though what Perseus doesn't know is that Pegasus had been captured by Calibos' men earlier, so it's Bubo to the rescue. Bubo frees Pegasus who returns to Perseus' side as they fly off to go save Andromeda as it is now time to sacrifice her. He arrives just in time, and whips out Medusa's head which turns the mighty Kraken into solid stone. Poor Poseidon though, the Kraken was essentially his pet. Everyone celebrates as Perseus, and Andromeda finally get to be married. Here's a small fun detail during this scene. As earlier Bubo fell onto a rock while helping Perseus fight the Kraken, and got injured, so in this scene the owl can be seen with a crutch, and a leg cast, which I find oddly adorable, and hilarious. Zeus then names a bunch of stars after the characters in the movie before credits finally roll. Personally though, Bubo was the real hero in this movie, when Perseus accidentally dropped the head into the ocean, who got it? Bubo did. Without him, everyone would be dead, so remember folks. He toot, he poot, but most importantly, he hoot.

Personally I thought this movie was okay, like it isn't the absolute most greatest movie I've ever seen, but it isn't the worst. The stop-motion is mostly what saves this boring quest. When I say boring, I mean as in some scenes just drag on without any purpose, I just want to check the time every 5 minutes, wondering when it will just end. Of course, I didn't grow up with the movie, so if you happen to like this, then good for you. As for me, this classic mythological tale gets a 3 out of 5 Paws up from me.

Movie Review: Flash Gordon

Just like opening up a racist time capsule

I know it's been forever since I made my last post, but I think now is a good time to pick up where we left off. With my return, we are going to be looking at the 1980s adaptation of the comic strip series, Flash Gordon. The story centers around a star Quarterback, who with a random lady, and a eccentric scientist work together to save not only the Earth, but the people of the planet Mongo as well. Be warned though that this movie portrays a lot of outdated cultural references, and a white guy in yellow face. What would be a decent, and cheesy sci-fi movie is bogged down by it's racist heritage. 

The movie opens introducing us to our main villain, Ming the Merciless who decides to use his weather controlling buttons to mess around with Earth before making the Moon slowly descend towards the planet to destroy it. After that brief scene, we then get a awesome title credits sequence with music by the band QUEEN playing in the background. QUEEN was actually responsible for almost all the music in the film, which I admit is a huge redeeming factor for this movie. After the opening credits we are introduced to our hero, Flash Gordon who at this time is the star quarterback of The New York Jets. On a plane ride, he meets Dale Arden, a travel agent who doesn't like air travel. Flash flirts with her, and after three minutes, she becomes way into him.Suddenly the pilots disappear, making Flash have to land the plane himself. Back down on ground, the ex-NASA scientist Zarkov, is trying to get his assistant to get on the rocket, and stop whoever is causing the strange natural disasters. The assistant runs off however. Though that is when Gordon, and Dale crash into Zarkov's lab. Luckily the two know who Zarkov already is, the ex-NASA scientist who was fired for being crazy. Zarkov then tricks Flash, and Dale onto his rocket, and starts it, launching the trio into space. The spaceship lands on the planet, Mongo, and the trio is promptly captured by Ming's forces. There is a useless scene where Flash does his football stuff in Ming's palace. Afterwards, Ming orders for Flash's execution, and Dale to become a new member of his harem. Zarkov is also taken to be brainwashed, and his memories wiped. Flash is seemingly killed, but saved by Ming's daughter, Aura, who is attracted to him despite being engaged. Aura is essentially a Space Thot. 

Aura then teaches Flash how to use telepathy to communicate with Dale, and is taken to meet some Robin-Hood looking people who's passage into adulthood ceremony involves sticking your hand into a tree to see if you get stung or not by an incredibly dangerous scorpion like creature.There the leader Barin, who is engaged to Aura, promises that he will not kill Flash. Sure enough Barin is not allowed to kill Flash, but nothing said that he couldn't instead challenge Flash to stick his hand into the pain tree. The two take turns putting their hands into the tree. Flash then pretends to be stung, and uses it to launch a surprise attack against Barin. He escapes for a little bit before both he, and Barin are captured by the Hawk People. To be honest though, the Hawk People just look like they belong in a Gay Biker Gang. Meanwhile back at Ming's Palace though, Klytus, the leader of Ming's secret Police force had spotted Aura helping Flash escape. Dale, and Zarkov also escape from the palace. Is it just me, or should Ming invest in a better security system? However shortly after escaping Zarkov reveals how he was able to resist the brainwashing by reciting Shakespeare. Literally just a couple minutes later, The two are captured by the Hawk People as well. At the Sky Castle our trio of heroes are reunited. Though it is short lived as the leader of the Hawk People, Vultan then demands that Barin, and Flash fight to the death, and i'm pretty dang sure that Game of Thrones stole this scene in the first or second season. The fight ends with Barin nearly falling into the void below, but Flash saves him, winning Barin's loyalty.

Back on Mongo, Klytus tortures Aura until she tells him where Flash is. Her father, Ming also decides to exile her after he marries Dale. Now Klytus arrives at the Sky Castle, and is promptly killed by Flash. Vultan, and his Hawk People then evacuate the castle as Ming will surely come to destroy them. Ming does arrive, and captures Dale, and Zarkov. Though before leaving he attempts to negotiate with Flash to stop, and in return he'll stop the destruction of Earth, and appoint Flash as the ruler. Flash turns down the offer however, and Ming leaves so he can blow up the Sky Castle. Flash is able to escape in the nick of time however as he finds a flying jet-ski, a space-ski? I don't know. Flash regroups with the Hawk People, as well as Barin, and his people, and makes a plan to defeat Ming. Vultan finally decides to team up with Flash to help him. Working together, Flash, and the Hawk People are able to take over one of Ming's warships. Flash prepares to sacrifice himself to save everyone, but that doesn't quite go to plan as Barin is able to lower the Palace's shields making Flash able to crash the ship into the pa;ace safely. Yes, I know what I just said. Ming is impaled on the tip of the ship, and shortly dies afterwards meaning that both Earth, and Mongo are saved. Barin, and Aura now rule over the planet bringing in a era of peace. Flash, Dale, and Zarkov then wonder if they'll ever be able to return to Earth. Oh well, everyone probably assumed you died in the airplane crash anyway. Other then that, it's a happy ending to the movie.

I swear I didn't edit this

If it weren't for the historical context, I would probably give this movie a higher rating. I try to look at this movie with an unbiased look, but seeing all the racist stuff going on behind, and on scene, I can't get over it. Because of the series' origins, and just being cheesy in general, Flash Gordon is getting a 2 out of 5 paws up.

Movie Review: Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure

There's a reason why Disney won't acknowledge this movie's existence

May the 4th be with you Star Wars fans. Today is as you might've guessed, Star Wars Day. For the event I decided that I would review something Star Wars related. Though I am not looking at any of the main movies, nor the newer spin-offs, we're going to uncover a piece of forgotten Star Wars canon, The Ewok spin-off movies. Though we are only looking at the first of the two, Caravan of Courage. Taking place before the original trilogy, Caravan of Courage follows two kids whose parents are captured by a creature named  Gorax after crash landing on the Ewok's moon of Endor. The friendly teddy bear like Ewoks then help the children rescue their parents. I'm going to say it now though, this movie is a snore fest, so forgive me if a few important parts are omitted from the review, not my fault this movie had me sleeping for the most part.

The movie opens on a fateful night of Endor where we are introduced to the main character's parents who are trying to find their missing children. Suddenly they are captured by a giant monster, and we don't see them until thirty minutes later in the movie. The next day, the movie introduces us to a family of Ewoks. One thing I will praise is that unlike The Star Wars Holiday Special, there is actually a narrator to help give context. Except the narrator doesn't, he only explains the obvious, then proceeds to not explain any of the other weird shit that happens in this movie. The Dad Ewok I guess uses a para glider to find his two oldest sons, then um, I have no fucking clue what is even happening half of the time, and we're only in the beginning! Another thing that I need to point out is all the Earth animals on this "alien" planet. Goats, chickens, miniature horses, ferrets, lizards, mice, and even rabbits. The Ewok Dad, and his sons, including the third, and youngest son Wicket go on a walk or something. On the walk they find the crashed Star Cruiser, and investigate. Inside they find a sick little girl named Cindel, and soon enough after, her brother Mace. They bring the kids back to their home, and help Mace nurse Cindel back to health. Then Mace proceeds to grab his sister, and try to run away. They are attacked by a monster, and shortly saved by the Ewoks. The Ewoks then agree to help them find their parents, but first go to the Mystic Ewok to see where their parents are being held. They find that the Giant Gorax had taken them, and will soon kill them, so they need to go quickly. The titular Caravan of Courage is formed, and the kids along with their new Ewok friends head off to save their parents. Each person in the group was also given a special item, though I have no idea what these items do at all. 

On their way the group comes across a axe-wielding Ewok who joins their group, and shortly after a wizard Ewok. The thing is though, there is no magic in the Star Wars universe, only The Force, but here we have a Ewok breaking the damn rules! There are parts with forced peril as well to lengthen the run-time like Mace being trapped underwater for some reason, and a horse running off with Cindel. Eventually they finally arrive at the Gorax's lair. Wicket shanks a giant enemy spider dead. One of the Ewoks distracts Gorax while Mace rescues his parents. Then Gorax returns, and ends up killing the axe-using Ewok. Mace cries because that Ewok was his friend, or something. Using some rope, they trip the Gorax into a deep ravine. It doesn't work at first until Mace uses his dead Ewok buddy's axe to finish off Gorax. The group celebrates as they return to the Ewok village where the human family decide to live with the Ewoks until their ship is fixed. Wicket also dances on a table.

Why did I do this? I take back everything, this is the worst Star Wars movie ever. It's boring, makes no sense, and is just completely pointless. Of course i'm sure there are some angry neck beards somewhere that will insist this movie is a masterpiece compared to any of the Sequel Movies. I don't like this movie, that's it. Much like Furry Vengeance, this doesn't even deserve a score. Good day! God... I think I need a drink...

Movie Review: Tremors 2: Aftershocks

For once the sequel is better

There is a stigma in the movie industry that sequels are typically downgrades of the movies they follow. The Tremors franchise however is much more different. Much rather then getting worse with each sequel, this Hextalogy (6 movies), soon to be Heptalogy (7 movies) later this year seems to just get better with every new entry in the series. As I said in my first Tremors review, I would take a look at the many sequels in the near future, and that near future is now. Anyway Tremors 2 takes place six years after the events of the first movie, and rather then following Earl, and Val, it is just Earl this time around as Val, and Rhonda gotten married, and moved to a big city together. Earl meanwhile is down on his luck when he is called to action by a Mexican Oil Baron whose oil refinery is infested with Graboids. With the reward of $50,000 per Graboid killed, he sets out to the oil refinery. While there however he, and his new partners will find that "The Worms Have Turned".

The movie begins at the aforementioned oil refinery where a worker is attempting to escape a Graboid. He almost makes it to safety, but is caught, and killed by the beast. We then skip back over to Perfection, Nevada, the setting of the first movie. It is here we find out that Val, and Rhonda had gotten married, and since moved away from Perfection while Earl is left behind running a failing Ostrich Ranch. He is then approached by Carlos who owns the refinery. He tells Earl that Graboids have been killing his workers, and that Earl is the only person he can think of to deal with the monsters. Earl at first refuses as he had barely survived the Graboid attack from six years ago. Grady, a Graboid fanboy who accompanied Carlos to find Earl then convinces Earl to come down to Mexico to fix the problem. Grady tells him that Carlos is offering $50,000 per Graboid he kills, and that the Mexican Army is willing to provide him with whatever he needs. With a monetary motivation, Earl, joined by Grady drive down to rural Mexico to hunt some Graboids. Arriving at the main office, Earl meets the rest of the cast, Handyman Pedro, and Geologists Katie, and Julio. Earl also learns that Carlos is willing to pay double if they manage to catch a live Graboid, though Earl says it's impossible to catch one. With the help of a computer that shows where the worms are in the area, we get a fun montage of Earl, and Grady using a new technique to kill Graboids based on Earl's idea from the first movie. The idea being "fishing". Though this time instead of lit dynamite on a rope, they now use remote controlled cars equipped with explosives. Soon enough the pair find out that there are much more Graboids in the area then anticipated, and because of this they need some backup from an old friend. A now divorced Burt Gummer, also from the first movie gladly comes to their aid bringing along a massive amount of heavy fire power, and 120-pounds of MREs (Ready-to-eat meals intended mostly for military use). We also learn that the Graboids are actually Pre-Cambrian, making them older then dinosaurs. All is going fine now, until later that day something unexpected happens.

Earl, and Grady come across a Graboid who much rather then charging after them, instead is running away. Earl suspects that it's trying to lure them into a trap as the Graboids have been known to learn over time. The two go after it anyway, though while chasing it, the chains on their truck gets caught up with the worm causing it to drag the truck towards a rock. With the car crashed, the two panic as they expect the Graboid to attack at any moment, but surprisingly enough, it doesn't. The two investigate, and find the Graboid completely above ground, and immobile. Earl, and Grady celebrate as they realize they can cash in this live in. With the truck destroyed they radio Pedro to come, and pick them up. Later that night while still waiting for Pedro, more unexpected things happen. With the Graboid now crying out in pain before suddenly stopping, the two investigate, and find their Graboid dead, and completely gutted. Earl seeing that something must've come out of it suggests that it metamorphosed into something new. In the distance they see Pedro's car finally arriving, only to suddenly stop. Reluctantly, they investigate, and find the car ripped apart, and Pedro dead. They also find that the radios are not working, and head to the radio tower to try, and fix it. When they get to the radio tower though, once again, it is completely destroyed. They soon come across their new enemy, a small Graboid like creature, that instead of crawling, walks on two legs. They manage to kill it, but soon more arrive. Luckily the are able to escape before the creatures got to them. Burt also has a run-in with the new creatures. Early the next day, Katie is just doing her science stuff when suddenly her assistant Julio is attacked, and killed by a group of them. Katie is soon enough saved by Earl, and Grady; and Burt returns understandably pissed off about the situation. Despite using up all of his ammo, turns out that he had managed to capture one live. Now with it locked up in a cage, the group can do some tests. 

They are quickly able to find out that the now named Shriekers are both blind, and deaf; they instead hunt by heat signatures. This means that the attacks on the radio tower, and cars were mostly accidental, Another thing we find out is that they reproduce asexually when fed enough food. This discover only helps foreshadow what is to happen now. Turns out, a lone Shrieker had sneaked into the building from being stuck under Burt's truck. To make matters worse, it gets into Burt's MRE supply. You can probably guess what happens next, absolute chaos. The Shriekers attack the group, and they are barely able to escape using their sense to detect body heat against them. We also get probably one of the best scenes in the series, Burt does what he does best, overkill. Using a handheld cannon, Burt blows a Shrieker into small chunks. Though doing that, he also accidentally destroyed the last working car in the area. With the Shriekers spotting the group, they mange to escape up a roof in classic Tremors style. Burt however, is now cornered in the scooping part of a bulldozer. Before they can devise a plan, the Shriekers begin to stack on top of each other to reach the roof. Burt then gets a idea, and runs out into the open causing the Shriekers to chase after him. He leads them all into a warehouse, and quickly shuts the door on them. At first this does the trick, until they realize that there are pounds of food in there, making the Shriekers rapidly multiply. Earl decides to have a fire extinguisher used on him to reduce his body temperature, and heads into the warehouse to grab one of Burt's bombs. Earl is barely able to escape as he sets off a detonation timer. Burt realizing what he's done warns everyone to run away as the blast will be huge. Indeed it is, almost a nuclear sized blast that left nothing, but a crater of what was once an oil refinery. I mean hey, it was either the refinery, or the world, so it's okay. With every single Shrieker, and Graboid in the area dead, our trio celebrate. Earl also gets with Katie, and as for Burt. Well let's just say that Burt becomes the main character of the franchise now, no more Kevin Bacon, or Fred Ward. 

Tremors 2 proves that good sequels can exist, and in this case, I would say that Tremors 2 is better then the first movie.For one thing, it nailed that Comedy part that was lacking from their last Horror/Comedy flick. The series in my personal opinion only gets better from here, so stay tuned for future Tremors reviews. For now though, Aftershocks gets a 5 out of 5 Paws up.

Movie Review: Legally Blonde

A classic feminist tale for every generation

First of all, happy International Woman's Day everyone! I'm going to be a bit serious for a moment, it's amazing how much has happened for Womankind in this last decade all over the world. From the rise of the #MeToo movement, to Disney's Frozen movies, to one young girl, Greta Thunberg going against all odds in a effort to save our home, Earth. There has been so much more notable feminist moments this past decade that if I were to list them all we would never get to our review. It is unfortunate however that sexism still exists. Being a denizen of the internet I have actually been on the receiving end of some rather derogatory comments. It is not good to dwell on the bad though, we must focus on the good, and improve from there, we got this. Due to today being such an important holiday, I've decided to review a movie that has stood the test of time, Legally Blonde. Released in 2001 the movie follows sorority girl, Elle Woods who decides to attend Harvard Law School in hopes of winning back her boyfriend. Now keep in mind that was a very nut-shelled description of the plot, just like Elle, this movie is so much more then it's basic premise. This movie I think means a lot to a lot of people. Though we may not exactly be like Elle, we, the audience can relate when she is judged based on her looks. This movie has also influenced a hit musical as well, so forgive me if I reference a song, two (Which I might link each song, because the musical is just as good as the movie).

The movie begins with Elle getting ready for the day when she is given a good-luck card by her friends. This is because her friends are suspecting that her boyfriend, Warren will propose to her that night. In order to fully be prepared, Elle, and her main friends... whose names I've forgotten, whoops. (They don't appear that much, so it's okay I think). While out shopping we already can see what the core conflict of the movie is when a shopkeeper says to her co-worker that "There is nothing better then a dumb blonde with daddy's plastic" as she then takes the tag off of a dress from the clearance rack. The shopkeeper then tries to sell it to Elle, expecting her to be the dumb blonde she sees her as, but Elle shows otherwise. Elle calls out the shopkeeper for attempting to sell her a old dress at full price. This scene helps establishes to the audience that although Elle behaves much like the "Valley Girl" stereotype (For younger readers, I think the 2020 version is the VSCO Girl sksksksk), she is actually very smart. Later that night Elle, and her boyfriend Warren are on a dinner date together. This is when Warren ends up disappointing Elle, by saying that he wants to not date her anymore. He says this because he is going to Harvard in less then a year, and if he wants to be a great senator he claims that he needs a Jackie, and not a Marilyn (Referencing Jackie Kennedy, and Marilyn Monroe). Elle returns to her Sorority, and enters a period of depression. Her two friends though manage to convince her to go to a local salon to get their nails done. There, Elle sees a picture of what Warren would describe as a "Jackie". It is from here Elle decides that in order to get Warren back she needs to go to Harvard, and become a law student.

Elle now begins the long process to get accepted into Harvard, even though the people around her say that it would be impossible for someone like her to go there. With the help of a study montage, Elle is accepted into Harvard with an astonishingly high score of 179 on the Law School Admission Test, combined with her already existing 4.0 GPA. Elle then heads off to her new dorm at Harvard, and is able to track down Warren. Everything seems to be going perfect until she starts her first class. There she finds just how different people on the East coast are compared to people from the West coast. She is shamed outside the classroom for not being completely ready. Outside the classroom, she meets Emmett who gives her advice on the teachers there at Harvard. When the class ends, Elle finds out that Warren is actually engaged to the same girl from class who had called her out for not being prepared, Vivian. Vivian, and Elle then become rivals competing for Warren's love. Along the way Elle becomes best friends with Paulette, a nail stylist at a local salon. Upon learning of Callahan's internship program, Elle really starts getting serious, as maybe getting the spot may impress Warren. Through her hard work, and determination Elle, along with Vivian, Warren, and one other student are accepted to become interns to Callahan, and just in time for a new case too. Elle learns that the client is famous fitness coach, Brooke Windham, who Elle actually had attended one of her classes before. Brooke had been accused of murdering her husband, though the evidence  proves it, Elle knows that isn't the truth. Although Brooke wouldn't give away her alibi, she tells it in secret to Elle who promises to keep it a secret. In the days leading up to the court showing, Elle meets up with Paulette again, and finds out that she is in love with the delivery guy. Elle then decides to teach her, and all the other girls in the salon how to the "Bend-and-Snap", a technique that gets any guy's attention. 

Back on the case with Elle refusing to reveal Brooke's alibi, later that night Vivian goes to Elle and says that she made the right choice to keep it a secret. The girls then bond over talking about the sexism seen from Callahan. The next day, she meets one of the witnesses, the pool boy, who claims that Brooke was sleeping with him. Though before his hearing Elle heard him talk about her shoes in great detail. With that information alone she finds out that he is actually gay, thus couldn't have slept with Brooke. To be honest Gay or European is the best song to come from any stage musical ever, okay. With that reveal Brooke is almost free, but the testimony from her stepdaughter might be enough to lock her up, though that won't be until tomorrow. Callahan complements Elle on her good work, and even says that he can get her to better places after college. He then proceeds to place his hand on her leg. Elle, in shock leaves. Vivian who saw it thinks that she had been sleeping with him though that isn't the truth. Emmett confronts Elle trying to figure out what happened. Elle tells him everything as she decides to quit. Why does one creep make her want to quit though? Well, throughout the whole beginning of the movie Elle is seen as a joke, a sexual object by others. When Callahan was praising her, that was the first time someone had complemented her for something other then her looks. Though seeing as he sexually assaulted her, all of it was a lie, making Elle realize that no one will ever see her seriously, and always see her a a sexual object. The next day though something surprising happens. Brooke fires Callahan, and taking his place is Elle, back in action thanks to her other Professor. Elle is also unapologetically herself, purse Chihuahua, and all. Along with that, her friends from the sorority have also come to watch her first court case. Elle at first nervous is able to get the witness' alibi. The alibi in which Elle completely pulls apart. 

Turns out the witness had gotten a perm that day, and was in the shower when the gunshots happened. Elle though knows better, you can't take a shower as soon as you get a perm, you have to at least wait a day. The witness then reveals that she was the killer all along, and that she didn't mean to kill her father, she wanted to kill Brooke. With the real murderer arrested, Brooke is free to go. Upon winning the case Warner tries to get Elle back, but Elle says that if she wants to be a partner in a law firm by the time she's thirty, she needs a boyfriend who's not a complete bonehead. We then fast forward two years to Elle, and her class' graduation ceremony. During this part we also get to see what the other characters had been up to, and what will  happen with them. Vivian dumped Warner, and she, and Elle are now best friends. Warner basically became a total loser. Paulette married the delivery guy, and is planning on naming their daughter after Elle. Emmett quit Callahan's ;aw firm, and opened up his own. He, and Elle have also been dating for these past two years as well, and plans on proposing that night. Overall this is a very happy ending, and it's so great to see Elle start out at the bottom, only to finish at the top while also discovering her own self worth along the way.

Legally Blonde, though the aesthetics are very early 2000s, the story itself is timeless. In this day, and age, we need more women like Elle then ever. Legally Blonde is just one of the many perfect movies to watch for international women's day. Maybe even check out the musical if you want something a little different. Legally Blonde is a great feminist movie, with a wonderful message for all girls, and for that, it gets a 5 out of 5 Paws up.

Movie Review: Tremors

The nightmare fuel of my childhood

In the 1970s Jaws scared everyone away from water, and in the early 90s, Tremors made even walking on dirt the scariest thing ever. Tremors is a horror-comedy monster flick starring Kevin Bacon, and Fred Ward as two handymen that are forced to become unlikely heroes when their town of Perfection, Nevada is overrun with burrowing monsters. Although it calls itself a comedy film, it's much more scary then it is funny. Luckily though the sequels nail the horror-comedy aspect better. Despite the cheesy effects however, this movie really "burrowed" itself into my mind for as long as I can remember (Or well maybe 1st or 2nd grade age?). You can expect me to get pretty nostalgic throughout the review.

When the movie begins we are immediately introduced to Kevin Bacon, and Fred Ward's characters; Val, and Earl, Val being short for Valentine. The audience can also see the two's distinct personalities. These handymen are great friends who do odd jobs around the area in hopes of one day being able to move out of Perfection, and to a big city. The town itself is a ex-mining settlement right in the center of a very isolated valley, surrounded by large mountains. This means that communication with the outside world is rather difficult. On their way from their latest job, the two meet college student Rhonda, who is using her seismograph for research in the area. After a rather nasty incident during one of their jobs, the boys decide to go ahead, and leave the town for the big city. On their way though, they spot a figure stuck on an electrical tower. Upon further inspection, it is local Edgar, he is also found to be dead. They take him to the town doctor for an autopsy, which concludes with the doctor saying he died of dehydration. After this we meet Old Farmer Fred, who is tending to his flock of sheep, and garden. Something is wrong however, the ground is moving around him. Fred is then quickly pulled underground to his untimely demise. His sheep shortly meet the same fate.Val, and Earl make a stop at Old Fred's for a quick errand. However they only find his sheep slaughtered, and the only thing remaining of Fred is his head partially buried in the dirt. The duo rush back to town to warn everyone, as they are convinced a serial killer must be on the loose.

With the phone line down, Val, and Earl attempt to reach the big city, but not for themselves, but to instead get help. Before they can get there though two construction workers will meet their fate. The two workers are attacked in a way that causes a landslide, thus blocking the road, and the only convenient exit out of the valley. It is moments after the collapse that Val, and Earl arrive. Disappointed they go to leave, but something has grabbed their truck's axle. Back at the town they find tied around their axle is a slug like monster. This however only solves part of the mystery. They also sell it to the store owner, Walter for a quick buck. That night though in a separate part of the valley, we find out that the little slug like creature may  just only be a small part of something bigger. The town doctor, and his wife enjoy a night under the stars after a day of working on their new home. Suddenly the generator disappears. His wife tries to suggest that they leave, but instead the doctor goes to investigate. This is where we get the scene that absolutely traumatized me as a kid. I have this faint memory of hanging out with my older brother, watching tv, and this scene comes on. For some reason, just that scene alone stayed in my head for as long as I could remember. I don't think I even watched the full movie until now. Anyway, I should probably continue talking about this scene. The old man is suddenly grabbed by one of the monsters, and slowly dragged underground. His wife tries to save him only to meet one of these monsters face to face. She jumps into her car hoping she'll be safe, but then her car begins sinking into the ground. She screams as slowly the car is dragged under the ground, and the scene ends. The next morning back in town, Val and Earl borrow Walter's horses in hopes of being able to ride them to someone nearby that may be able to help them. However along the way, they come across the remains of the attack from last night.

After investigated the site, they continue riding on their horses, that is until one of the steeds is killed. The other horse kicks off Val, and runs off. Quickly the two manage to barely outrun it, only surviving because the monster ran into a concrete wall. Rhonda also comes by, and sees the monster for the first time. It is here we learn that the small slug like creature is actually one of the many tongues of the monster itself. It is here that they also learn the monsters live underground. At first Val, and Earl are relived that they managed to kill it, but Rhonda tells them that there are actually three more in the area. They attempt to get to her car in order to drive back in town, but instead are stranded on a boulder until the next morning. In the morning Rhonda suggests that they pole vault to the other boulders in order to get to her car since the monsters cannot climb. Upon returning to the town, we find out the monsters have been named, Graboids, due to their grabbing ability. Soon after Val, Earl, and Rhonda arrive, the Graboids begin their attack on the town. After Walter is snatched by one, the survivors are forced to retreat onto the rooftops of their homes. Except for survivalist couple Burt, and Heather Gummer. With their bunker located underground, they accidentally draw a Graboid to themselves. However being a couple of stereotypical gun-toting Americans, they manage to take down the Graboid with ease. Meanwhile Earl starts noticing that the remaining Graboids are figuring out how to collapse the foundation of the buildings in the town. Knowing that they can't stay long, the survivors come up with a plan. While everyone distracts the Graboids with loud sounds, Val runs out to hook up a trailer to a heavy duty Front Loader truck. With the weight alone, it overpowers any attempts that the Graboids make to grab them. 

With everyone loaded in the fortified trailer, it looks like that they will be able to make it to the mountains with ease. That will not be the situation however. Turns out, the Graboids dug a trap, making the Front Loader now useless. Luckily Burt, and Heather had prepared some bombs, as the sound, and vibrations caused from the bombs is enough to temporarily scare away the Graboids. Using this the survivors are able to escape onto a nearby boulder. Earl, luckily comes up with an idea; he takes one of Burt's bombs, and ties it onto a rope. Then throwing the rope like a lasso, he begins what he calls "fishing". It actually works, and one of the Graboids blows up in bright orange bits, and pieces that cover everyone. This method doesn't work the next time though thanks to the Graboids ability to learn. In fact, it spits the bomb back up at the survivors causing them to scramble. Val, holding the last bomb has a crazy idea that might work. He begins running towards a nearby cliff, leading the Graboid to himself. He then throws the bomb behind it, causing it to charge. Val then jumps out of the way, and they all watch in awe as the last Graboid falls to it's death. With the Graboid threat now gone, everyone can return to their normal lives. Val also gets together with Rhonda as well for a happy ending.

Tremors isn't a bad movie, in fact it still holds up after so many years. It is still just as scary, though slightly less then when I was a kid. Tremors deserves it's status as a Cult Classic. It has the perfect amount of camp, mixed with scares to create a unique experience. The movie is very cheesy at some parts, but I think that's just part of what makes it so good. If I get enough requests, i'd be willing to review the five sequel movies, but for now this campy horror earns a "groundbreaking" 5 out of 5 Paws up.

Movie Review: Die Hard

A Classic Christmas Movie

It's the mid-Eighties, the action movie genre is starting to get stale. Every year, we get more, and more of buff oiled men fighting other buff oiled men (No homo). Although towards the end of 1988, not only the action genre, but the Christmas movie genre would be changed forever. Die Hard is a phenomenal Christmas-Action movie about John McClane (Played by Bruce Willis), a average man, who also happens to be a cop from New York. He travels to California in hopes of reconnecting to his wife, Holly (Played by Bonnie Bedelia) during Christmas time. It won't be that easy though as twelve terrorists take over the building, and it is up to John to save the day.

Christmas Eve, John arrives at the Los Angeles Airport, and is surprised when he finds that his wife's boss had got a limo ride for him. The limo driver introduces himself as Argyle (Played by De'voreaux White), and he has to be one of the most funny characters in the film. Rather surprising how well this movie can blend drama, action, and comedy like this. Much rather then sit in the back with the nice luxuries, John sits in the passenger seat, and has a nice conversation with Argyle. Upon arrival at the Nakatomi Plaza building, Argyle agrees to wait down in the garage just in case John manages to win back Holly, then he can drive the two home.  John goes up to where the business party is, and finds Holly. At first the two seem to get along fine, but then their discussion turns into an argument. Meanwhile back down in the lobby, the start of something big is happening.

While John is in the bathroom, the party is suddenly taken over by a group of terrorists armed to the teeth with artillery. John manages to slip away however, and hides out in the stairwell trying to figure out what to do. The leader of the group, Hans Gruber (Played by Alan Rickman), interrogates Joseph Takagi, the executive of the company for the code to the vault within the building. Takagi doesn't comply however, and ends up being shot, and killed by Hans. John is unfortunately witness to the gruesome scene. After that, he is almost caught by one of the terrorists, but after a fight on the stairwell the terrorist's neck is snapped as they tumbled down the stairs. John steals the dead man's gun, communicator, and pack of cigarettes. John decides to use the communicator to contact the police, but before that he sends the body up the elevator with a warning painted onto his shirt. Our hero then makes it up to the roof where he is able to contact the police. Though the police don't take him seriously, and only send in one man to do a quick drive-by investigation. 

Hans sends two of his men to attack John, only for them both to be killed. Meanwhile back down at the lobby, one of Hans men is disguised as a security guard, and manages to convince the officer that nothing is wrong. Though as the officer goes to leave, John drops the corpse of one of the men onto his car, this alerts the officer enough to call in backup. This is actually the beginning of a friendship between John, and the officer Al Powell (Played by Reginald VelJohnson). On the communication device, Hans confronts John, attempting to intimidate him. though that doesn't work as John decides to present himself like a hero from a old western movie. This is also the moment where we get one of the most famous lines in movie history, "Yippee-ki yay motherfucker". Back down on the ground, the police, and SWAT finally show up. Though ironically they only make things worse. A news reporter also shows up trying to cash in on the dangerous scenario. 

Back with the hostages, Ellis, a cocky business man, and co-worker of Holly decides to try, and negotiate with Hans. Ellis reveals John's name to Hans, and Ellis tries to convince John to give them the detonators, and they'll all go free. That doesn't happen however, and Ellis is shot, and killed. To make things worse since the police are also on the same communication channel, the police chief accuses John of letting him die even though John did all he could to save Ellis. John decides to head up towards the roof to check the explosives, and actually comes face-to-face with Hans. Though Hans attempts to trick John into thinking that he is also one of the hostages. John is able to easily see through the trick though, thanks to his experience as a police officer in New York. Although in a twist, Hans was anticipating this, and brought backup. Luckily John is able to take them out easily, but gets injured during his escape. Since he has no shoes on, he was forced to walk on glass to reach safety, leaving him severely bleeding, yikes.

While John is tending to his wounds he talks with Powell about family. John tries to tell Powell that if he doesn't make it, he wants him to tell his wife that he is sorry, but Powell replies that he can say it himself as long as he doesn't give up. The FBI arrive now, and using their authority they shut down the power to the entire block. Hans also demands that they provide helicopters to load the hostages onto. The truth though is that, the bad guys are planning on blowing up the roof when the helicopters arrive in order to fake their deaths to get away with their crime. Though of course it would kill the hostages in the process. Meanwhile back on the ground, the sleazy news reporter tracks down John's family home, and interviews his kids. When the kids show up on the news, Hans finds out that Holly is John's wife from the picture on her desk. The terrorists now force the hostages up onto the roof, but Holly is taken by Hans to the vault to be used as bait in order to kill John. It is during this part that we learn, they aren't exactly terrorists, but much rather petty thieves who are after the $640 million dollars stashed away in the vault. 

Knowing that the people are in danger, John heads up to the roof to save them. Along the way John is almost stopped by one of Hans strongest men, who funnily enough in real life is a ballet dancer. After a long fight sequence John is able to defeat buff dancer. He makes it up to the roof where all the hostages are huddled together, one of Holly's friends tells him that Holly was taken by Hans. Despite being in danger though, the people are not listening to John to get off the roof, so he forces them by shooting his gun into the air to scare them back down. The helicopter crew however misunderstand the situation, and think John to be one of the terrorists, and begin shooting at him. In order to escape, we get one of the coolest scenes in this movie. John wraps a fire hose around himself, and takes a leap of faith off the top of the building just as it blows up, taking out the helicopter along the way. After successfully making back inside, John goes to confront Hans. 

John makes it to where Hans, and Holly are. Hans manages to convince John to give up his machine gun in order to spare Holly, but turns out John had a hidden pistol with him, and uses it to kill one of his men, and wound Hans. Hans crashes through a window, but doesn't fall yet as he is holding on by Holly's watch. Slowly he readies his gun for one last shot, but John is quick, and manages to unhook Holly's watch causing Hans to fall to his death. The couple walk out of the building celebrating their victory. The occasion is cut short though when it turns out that the buff ballerina is still alive, but Powell puts a stop to it by shooting him. John, and Powell embrace each other (No homo). Now as John, and Holly make their way through the crowd, the reporter tries to interview them only to get punched in the face by Holly. Argyle also manages to get out of the garage, and just as promised he drives them home. The credits roll as our couple kiss, and Christmas music plays in the background. Truly the greatest holiday film yet.

Die Hard holds up pretty well. It isn't a perfect movie that's for sure, but it is easy to understand the cultural significance of this movie. I feel like Die Hard helped pioneer the new norms of action films. Average Joe heroes, drama, and a good splash of comedy. This Christmas classic gets a 5 out of 5 paws up.

Movie Review: Barbie in The Nutcracker

A personnel childhood classic

The Nutcracker is a timeless tale of a young girl going on an adventure with a nutcracker to stop the evil mouse king, it helps that it is accompanied by a wonderful score by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky had also scored other iconic ballets such as Swan Lake, and Sleeping Beauty. With The Nutcracker being so old, of course it's in the public domain, meaning that anyone is allowed to not only use the music, but create their own interpretation of the story. Today I'll be looking back on my favorite adaptation of The Nutcracker; Barbie in The Nutcracker. The movie was released back in 2001, and was at the first CGI Barbie movie, and it shows. Despite remembering this movie fondly, i'll do my best to not judge the movie with rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia.

The movie starts with Barbie, and her younger sister, Kelly practicing their ballet routine for the upcoming performance of The Nutcracker that the two will be in. Kelly tries to get it right, but feels discouraged as ballet is quite difficult. Barbie comforts her, and says that she should be brave, and willing to try like Clara from the ballet. She then proceeds to start telling the story which brings us into the actual movie. We are quickly introduced to Clara, her stern grandfather, and her pesky younger brother, Tommy. Clara is quickly shown to be a thoughtful young woman, as we start with her daydreaming. Her grandfather scolds her as she gets back to decorating the Christmas tree, putting up a ornament of a ballerina onto the tree saying that her mother had gotten her that the first time she was taken to a ballet. Clara's adventurous aunt then comes around telling the young girl of all the places she had been to this year. Clara's grandfather tries to stop her aunt from filling Clara's head with such ideas as he is a old sexist boomer who believes Clara should stay where she is. After the grandfather leaves, Clara's aunt secretly tells her that she'll try to convince her grandfather to let Clara go with her on her next adventure. In the meantime though Clara, and Tommy are given gifts from the aunt. For Tommy it is two toy soldiers, and for Clara it is our titular Nutcracker. Her aunt explains that even though he isn't the best looking, on the inside is the heart of a prince. Tommy being the little brat he is though attempts to steal The Nutcracker from Clara causing it to break.

After fixing up the nutcracker by using a ribbon as a sling, Clara ends up falling asleep. Later on that night, the clock strikes midnight causing the room to come alive with magic. Though not all of it is good magic as an army of mice march out of the mouse hole. Luckily some of the magic reaches Nutcracker, and he comes alive, immediately springing into action. Clara is woken up, and looks around wondering if perhaps this is simply a dream. The Nutcracker tells her though that it is not, as the Mouse King (Voiced by Tim Curry, who is most famously known for his role as the Sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Perfect casting for a children's movie!) emerges from the hole. Nutcracker and the Mouse King get into a sword fight. Clara tries to help only for the Mouse King to then shrink her down into the size of a doll. She retreats up a garland, watching the fight from a distance. Seeing The Nutcracker in danger she kicks off her shoe, causing it to somehow knock out the king. The mice retreat, taking their king with them. Once they are safe, Nutcracker, and Clara regroup as Nutcracker explains that the only way to get her back to her original size, she must go with him to find the mysterious Sugarplum Princess, who will also be the key in stopping the Mouse King. Clara is reluctant at first, wondering how she would even get home. The wooden owl that sits on top of the clock then comes to life to give Clara a locket that will take her home once she opens it. The owl also tells the two where they can find the Sugarplum Princess. With a idea of where to go, the duo head off into the mouse hole.

Clara, and Nutcracker are swept into a magical portal that lands them inside an icy cavern. At first they think they are trapped, but soon a snow fairy comes by to try, and play with them. The fairy ends up hurting her wing, which Clara fixes up. To show their gratitude the snow fairies not only dance for them, but also open up an exit to the cave. I'd be lying if I said this part wasn't nice to watch; for the early 2000s the choreography is stunning, and the music of course makes it all the more better. The two leave the cave, and Clara takes in the beauty of the Nutcracker's home world, Parthenia, before going forward on their quest. Though what they weren't aware of was the Mouse King's right hand bat, Pimm, who was eavesdropping on their conversation, and heads back to the palace to warn the king. The two soon make it to a deserted, and destroyed gingerbread kingdom, the only thing left is a horse tied to a carriage. Suddenly they are attacked by two young children with snowballs. Clara is able to get them to stop attacking though as she gives the little girl her doll, which Clara found on the ground. The two children then explain that they had gone berry picking, and upon arriving back the village was destroyed. They also express their dislike for Prince Eric who had abandoned them, and he's the reason why the Mouse King was able to take the throne. Since there is nothing else for them in the village, the children decide to join Clara, and Nutcracker on their search for the Sugarplum Princess. They take the horse as well, whose name is Marzipan. 

Shortly after leaving the village the group is ambushed by the Mouse King's army, and Marzipan runs away. They run into a forest where suddenly a ladder drops from a tree. The group climbs aboard, and avoid the army. Though up in the trees isn't any better. Clara, and Nutcracker are met with distrust from the villagers who had manged to escape, especially from Major Mint, and Captain Candy. Though Nutcracker reassures them that they are not with the Mouse King, and instead they were sent by Prince Eric to find the Sugarplum Princess. Major Mint is very skeptical, but Captain Candy believes Nutcracker as he was friends with the prince. Captain Candy then asks what became of the prince, Nutcracker replies that he was killed by the prince. After some hesitation, Major Mint agrees to help them on their quest, on the condition that he be the leader of course. Later that night Clara confronts Nutcracker seeing through his lie. She had already figured it out that he is Prince Eric. Eric explains that he feels he isn't worthy however as it indeed was his fault as to why the kingdom is in the shape it is. Clara reassures him though that he is worthy, though he doesn't exactly believe it himself. Meanwhile at the castle the Mouse King decides how he wants to punish the guards who had let Nutcracker, and Clara escape. With Pimm's help he decides to turn them into bookends. Afterwards he looks through a book trying to find information on the Sugarplum Princess, but only finding the following; "She is Kind, Smart, and Brave", keep this in mind for later folks. He also creates a rock giant with the intention of using it to completely destroy the Nutcracker.

The next day the group sets out on their journey (minus the gingerbread village children of course). First they have to cross a path of floating rocks, Major Mint gets across easily, but Captain Candy falls off, and would've fallen into the ravine below if not for Nutcracker. Though Captain Candy was saved, the supplies he was carrying fell below into the ravine. They soon make it to an abandoned port, and while Major Mint, and Captain Candy fix up one of the ships, Clara and Eric head off to find more supplies. Clara, and Eric come across a dried up grove, which Eric claims used to be full of life along with a well. Soon enough they find that the well had been covered up. Using his sword he uncovers the well, and with it releases the trapped Spring Fairies. One of the fairies tells him that the Mouse King had trapped them in the well after destroying the grove. Though with them free, they quickly get to work reviving the area, along with providing supplies for their journey with fresh apples. To be honest this always was one of my most favorite scenes from the movie. I just love how everything springs to life, as well as the dancing, and music in it. During this part, Clara, and Eric share a tender moment only for it to be quickly spoiled as over the hill comes the rock giant being guided by Pimm the bat. The duo quickly run away back to the port, the rock giant following after them.

Upon arriving back at the port, of course the rock giant had manged to follow them there as well, and destroys their ship. Nutcracker is willing to risk his life for them to escape, though that doesn't need to happen as the Snow Fairies return, freezing the ocean, thus creating safe passage across the sea. Marzipan also returns just in time for everyone to jump into her carriage. At first they think they are safe as the ice should break under the weight of the rock giant. Alas the Snow Fairies did their job a little too well, as the ice stays intact. Nutcracker then jumps out, and uses his sword to crack the ice causing the giant to fall through, and sink to the ocean floor. Pretty brutal man. Captain Candy also states that Nutcracker should be the leader of their group as Major Mint is pretty useless. Soon enough they reach the island, and see the Sugarplum Princesses' castle just up ahead. Clara stays behind for a short bit however, contemplating on whether or not she would want to go home. As it turns out however, it was all a trap, all the men get captured, and taken to the Mouse King's palace, and leaving Clara stranded on the island. Meanwhile back in the village the village people decide that it is time to rise up against the Mouse King. Though Mouse King hears about the supposed uprising, and has all the villagers captured, and taken to his palace for a show of power by burning the Nutcracker in a large bonfire.

Clara is just about ready to give up when a familiar group of Spring Fairies come to her rescue. They give her a ride all the way to the Mouse King's palace, where she then goes off on her own to save the guys. No wonder I loved this movie as a kid, it had some really nice role reversal action in it! Clara is able to outsmart the mouse guards guarding the dungeon before going in. Though when she gets in there, she sees that it is empty. Actually turns out the guys are being kept behind an invisible wall. Being the smart, and resourceful girl she is Clara manages to break the wall, and free them. We then head into the climax of the movie where the Mouse King, and the Nutcracker go into battle with each other. The Nutcracker is beaten though, and Clara attempts to save him which causes the Mouse King to charge up a spell that would shrink her even smaller. The Nutcracker however is able to use the reflection in his sword to bounce the spell back at the Mouse King, causing him to shrink down to the size of an actual mouse. He runs away, but the Nutcracker is still weak, and still believing that he is nothing more then wood. Clara tells him he isn't like that at all, then kisses him. Her kiss causes Eric to finally return to his original human form. In surprise he realizes that the Sugarplum Princess had always been with them, it was Clara all along. Clara doubts it, but the audience can easily figure out why, after all, she was kind, smart, and brave; the qualities of the Sugarplum Princess. Clara then transforms into a gorgeous outfit, fit for a princess, as everything returns to their original form. 

In celebration, the children, Captain Candy, and Major Mint do a fun little dance. After that Clara, and Eric then dance, which has to be one of my other most favorite part in the film. The animation is surprisingly good, music paired with the choreography as usual are stunning to watch. However as they finish their dance, Eric asks if she would want to stay understanding if she would instead want to go home. Clara of course says yes, as here she has adventures, freedom, and a cute prince. The fun is spoiled however as the Mouse King returns flying atop of Pimm, and grabs Clara's locket, opening it up which forces her to return home. As she disappears Eric tells her that he loves her. Clara wakes back up on her couch to find that it is now Christmas morning. She tries to explain to her grandfather of what happened, but he simply sees it as a active imagination. Clara's aunt then returns, but with a special surprise. It is Eric as a full sized human! Clara is overly happy, and the two dance as the story concludes. What I really want to know though was that, was Clara's aunt in on the whole thing? Like was she aware of Parthenia, and Eric's curse, and knew only Clara could lift it? I don't know seems awfully suspicious that she knew who Eric was. Nevertheless the story ends, and we return to Barbie, and Kelly... oh yeah, they were in this movie. Kelly decides to be like Clara, and not give up, and within a minute she perfects the entire routine. Then the movie actually ends. You could literally remove the Barbie, and Kelly segments, and the movie would be the exact same, except maybe a bit better?

I went into this movie expecting it to not be as good as I remember, and I was surprisingly wrong. Sure the animation is quite rough, but hey it was the early 2000s, and they didn't have as much of a large budget like other nice CGI films at the time. Despite the flawed animation, the movie holds up quite well. Though I could see that maybe a younger child of this generation may find it a bit boring as it is somewhat slow. I don't care who the target demographic is, if you're craving some holiday nostalgia, and are in the mood for something a bit girly, then this would be a good one to watch. This nut gets a 4 out of 5 paws up.