There's a reason why Disney won't acknowledge this movie's existence
May the 4th be with you Star Wars fans. Today is as you might've guessed, Star Wars Day. For the event I decided that I would review something Star Wars related. Though I am not looking at any of the main movies, nor the newer spin-offs, we're going to uncover a piece of forgotten Star Wars canon, The Ewok spin-off movies. Though we are only looking at the first of the two, Caravan of Courage. Taking place before the original trilogy, Caravan of Courage follows two kids whose parents are captured by a creature named Gorax after crash landing on the Ewok's moon of Endor. The friendly teddy bear like Ewoks then help the children rescue their parents. I'm going to say it now though, this movie is a snore fest, so forgive me if a few important parts are omitted from the review, not my fault this movie had me sleeping for the most part.
The movie opens on a fateful night of Endor where we are introduced to the main character's parents who are trying to find their missing children. Suddenly they are captured by a giant monster, and we don't see them until thirty minutes later in the movie. The next day, the movie introduces us to a family of Ewoks. One thing I will praise is that unlike The Star Wars Holiday Special, there is actually a narrator to help give context. Except the narrator doesn't, he only explains the obvious, then proceeds to not explain any of the other weird shit that happens in this movie. The Dad Ewok I guess uses a para glider to find his two oldest sons, then um, I have no fucking clue what is even happening half of the time, and we're only in the beginning! Another thing that I need to point out is all the Earth animals on this "alien" planet. Goats, chickens, miniature horses, ferrets, lizards, mice, and even rabbits. The Ewok Dad, and his sons, including the third, and youngest son Wicket go on a walk or something. On the walk they find the crashed Star Cruiser, and investigate. Inside they find a sick little girl named Cindel, and soon enough after, her brother Mace. They bring the kids back to their home, and help Mace nurse Cindel back to health. Then Mace proceeds to grab his sister, and try to run away. They are attacked by a monster, and shortly saved by the Ewoks. The Ewoks then agree to help them find their parents, but first go to the Mystic Ewok to see where their parents are being held. They find that the Giant Gorax had taken them, and will soon kill them, so they need to go quickly. The titular Caravan of Courage is formed, and the kids along with their new Ewok friends head off to save their parents. Each person in the group was also given a special item, though I have no idea what these items do at all.
On their way the group comes across a axe-wielding Ewok who joins their group, and shortly after a wizard Ewok. The thing is though, there is no magic in the Star Wars universe, only The Force, but here we have a Ewok breaking the damn rules! There are parts with forced peril as well to lengthen the run-time like Mace being trapped underwater for some reason, and a horse running off with Cindel. Eventually they finally arrive at the Gorax's lair. Wicket shanks a giant enemy spider dead. One of the Ewoks distracts Gorax while Mace rescues his parents. Then Gorax returns, and ends up killing the axe-using Ewok. Mace cries because that Ewok was his friend, or something. Using some rope, they trip the Gorax into a deep ravine. It doesn't work at first until Mace uses his dead Ewok buddy's axe to finish off Gorax. The group celebrates as they return to the Ewok village where the human family decide to live with the Ewoks until their ship is fixed. Wicket also dances on a table.
Why did I do this? I take back everything, this is the worst Star Wars movie ever. It's boring, makes no sense, and is just completely pointless. Of course i'm sure there are some angry neck beards somewhere that will insist this movie is a masterpiece compared to any of the Sequel Movies. I don't like this movie, that's it. Much like Furry Vengeance, this doesn't even deserve a score. Good day! God... I think I need a drink...
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